Thread: Issues at home.
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Old 04-7-2012, 09:48 AM   #15
Cavernio
sunshine and rainbows
FFR Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Age: 41
Posts: 1,987
Default Re: Issues at home.

Sounds like you have everything in order now, but I can't help but think of my best friend and how your life right now mimicked a lot of her past.
She dated a guy for 6, 7 years? before she told them. Her mom would often call to check up on her instead of stopping by, but and she's always use friends as excuses when she was out with him. Got friends' parents involved with the deception too.
Her parents definitely knew the guy though, but rather as a friend who, well, she hung around with and they eventually caught on that they liked each other. But as to the extent of their relationship they had no clue. She only told them when both her and her bf decided to move intogether, at which point they grilled him, then planned a wedding for them, and now everyone's happy. I'm surprised it worked for her, and every parent is different, plus she was simply coming from traditional indian views, not muslim views, but consider introducing her as a friend, not girlfriend...someone you like, but you've never made out with kind of thing.
If you're 17 and you have no income and no set plan for school, your in trouble, parents or no. Nothing wrong with taking some time off and working whatever old job while you try to figure it all out. Making thousands of dollars doing something you don't like beats spending thousands of dollars on an education you don't want, at least while you figure out your career.
Also consider moving out. You're going to have to at some point anyways. If you move out sooner rather than later, there will be less tension between you and your parents seeing as you've made choices that go against their beliefs and wishes.
I'd consider lip service to your religion though. Seems likely it will prevent your parents from pushing you towards doing more with it.
I don't know why anyone under the sun would tell their parents about their drug use unless bringing it up in a funny story or something, years after the fact. Don't give them more reason for them to bring down the whip at this transition in your life.
Overall, it's better to wait until they see you as autonomous before showing them all that you are. And as it is, living at home and living on their money, you're still dependent on them, even if you are your own person beyond that. That was a huge issue of mine, I had moved out and felt autonomous, but my mom didn't quite see it that way, and it's put a strain on our relationship that may never go away.

Last edited by Cavernio; 04-7-2012 at 09:56 AM..
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