03-11-2007, 11:19 PM
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#3
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Supreme Dictator For Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Jersey
Age: 39
Posts: 5,874
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Re: My attempt at poetry
I take pride in confusing readers and forcing multiple readings
But seriously, the was originally written to be an anonymous poem in a small publication with an even smaller circle of readers within my college's community. It's easier to see what it's about with that in mind - it laments the near impossibility of achieving happiness through true love in college because of how busy we always are, it's also supposed to incite some 'sieze the day' mentality.
I'm also torn on the last line. It was actually changed a good few months after I originally wrote the poem. The meter being off doesn't bother me mainly because I know how to read it so it just sounds more dramatic instead of awkward, and the incongruence helps bring attention to the line, but if it sounded too strange, I definitely see where you're coming from. The original line was 'Because we are not f-ing Northwestern.' Which was fine for the original small publication (I didn't at the time intend to share it further than that), but to share it beyond that I would need to remove the swear and the allusion to my particular school.
Thank you so much for your thoughts!
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Originally Posted by FoJaR
dammit chaz
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Originally Posted by FoJaR
god dammit chaz
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Originally Posted by MalReynolds
I bet when you live in a glass house, the temptation to throw stones is magnified strictly because you're not supposed to.
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