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Old 10-13-2009, 11:42 AM   #18
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Location: OH
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Default Re: Manti's Game Repair Station

vic, I think your game has a lot of potential, but you have to make it more concise. It has a lot of unique ideas, but it has things in it that aren't necessary.

For instance: Clown - It's like 'It' all over again. He's a psychotic mass-murderer who came to the carnival as a cover. Under that painted-on crimson smile lay the tales of a psychopath. Can choose to kill one person at any given point in the game. This will be real time. As soon as I read the PM, I will post that player x has died and they will be out of the game. He's deathly afraid of mirrors, hating the way he is forced to paint his face for the sake of this carnival, however. So if the House of Mirrors Carnies targets him he will have a meltdown and kill himself, along with one other non-wolf player.

It should just say CLOWN: Once during the game he can instantly kill someone, if he's seer'd he will die along with another non-wolf player.

All that other information is not needed. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it, but for reading purposes, it's much easier to just put what's needed for the role and maybe type up your story in a separate area. It will make others more interested in your game.

Also, I hope this game gets run, it still needs work but there's a good basis here. I won't step on manti's thread and give my two cents about the game but I just had to say this.
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