Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenAshy
It’s like my brain is just like “oh look, a cute girl. Let me fuck up everything possible and make her think you’re a retard.” I’m honestly sick of it, I don’t even know what km doing wrong when I fail, I try to be as kind as possible, I’m not perverted, I don’t go around hitting on women, I usually just try to start things with an innocent conversation.
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If you're talking to someone with the idea already in your mind that you possibly might want t start dating them then the best course of action is to be upfront about it. Not saying catcall, but you need to make sure you use language that makes it clear that
A you want to date and not just hang out and
B you're looking for the long term.
This does 2 things
1 It keeps things honest; she won't feel like you suddenly went from friend to perv when you try and move away from small chitchat and prevents her from potentially being blindsided by the idea.
2 It saves both time and emotional investment for the both of you should she not be interested. As long as you gracefully accept the rejection things shouldn't ever get confusing, harsh, rude, or drag out. It also allows you to keep looking for that special someone without slowing down to try and feel out a potential candidate who would have been happy to be upfront with you on the subject had you been a little more blunt.
My dating life got so much better after I figured all that out.
EDIT: I should also say that Haku is more or less on the money: Therapy works for a lot of people; keeping your health up and staying busy with hobbies and projects keeps you from easily slumping in depression, and there's no shame in reaching out. I wouldn't think that
intentionally waiting before getting into a relationship is needed, but know for 100% that no relationship will last long term if the other points aren't addressed sooner then later.
My hobbies that keep me busy are Tai Chi, video games, and walking trails/beaches. Three
very different hobbies that I discovered I liked because I went through a phase of trying
everything I was able to. If you feel your interest are narrow, just means you haven't found your other interests yet.