[richhhhhard]

So many thoughts.

Originally Posted by Izzy

I don't really see cheating as something stupid or a little mistake. I find it to be pretty deliberate and easily avoidable if you cared at all about your current relationship.

"woops, I randomly went over to this guys house and we accidentally had sex."

I thought that was pretty funny, but either way, that is still the way YOU see it, right?
As korny was saying, alcohol can make you do things that you do not mean to do. A lot of people like to think that you are still in control of your actions even when you are drunk, but sometimes that is really not the case. Alcohol affects pretty much every part of your body, including the neurological synapses in your brain. This is the reason that sometimes people don't remember what happened, your brain becomes unable to store memories.

Anyway, this isn't a lecture on alcohol, it is just the fact that there can be cases that it is explainable.

Originally Posted by Necros140606

the problem resides in the conception of relationships. so far, we've restricted sexuality between the walls of marriage and man-women interaction. i'd say this is a pretty dumb way to expletate this phisiological need. animals in general (don't forget we are too!) develop their relationship habits through evolution, therefore the habit which grants the best survival chances is the one passed on. we humans, on the other hand, do not strive for survival. our choices should be regulated by the logic of major pleasure for the self *AND* the others. a single person relationhip does not satisfy this need, and it is rather a surpassed view.

I agree with *most* of what you said, however "a single person relationhip does not satisfy this need, and it is rather a surpassed view," is not really something you can say. You can say that for yourself, but some people *can* feel satisfied in single person relationships. It just depends on the person.

Originally Posted by korny

Perhaps you encountered a situation that truly tested the limits of human flaws and human nature. A man, statistically far more susceptible to giving into sexual desires, is at a bar, has a good amount of drinks, meets a woman who he engages in conversation with finds there is great chemistry between them not to mention is inebriated. Leaves the bar without the woman only to find out she lives across the street as she's just exited her vehicle as he has. This man's wife has been away on business for 7 months. I think we all understand how this scenario could unfold and not be considered totally inexcusable no? I don't think it could be considered completely deliberate at all even without a situation of this magnitude. That's a very black and white way of thinking that is hardly fair, but maybe that's just me.

I didn't really consider specific situations when thinking about this, it may seem unlikely that things like that happen, but situations like that do occur. It's called a movie.

But really this is a good point. Because how many people do you think wake up in the morning thinking "I am going to cheat on my spouse today!" Obviously in most cases it is something that can be controlled, but sometimes even then that doesn't mean it is unforgivable.

Thanks for an example of a situation in which it may be understandable.

Originally Posted by Blue Bird

It's not just jealousy - it's the feeling of betrayal. When your partner cheats, they either tell you, or you find out. Either way, you feel betrayed. You trusted that person, and they did something behind your back. Just because you love them, and want them to be happy regardless of what the decide, it doesn't make things better. It doesn't give them the right to do whatever the **** they want, and you have to be OK because you love them. For cheating to apply, we have to assume that both sides are affectionate for each other, and care about each other to an extent. Someone loves you, and by cheating on them you're basically just taking their love and stepping over it. No decent person would do that on purpose. That's why people usually feel bad after they cheat. No matter how much you still love them, it's not just because you're jealous they did it with someone else. In some rare cases, it is understandable. But in a lot of others, I think there's more than just jealousy when it comes to cheating.

And yeah sorry I wrote it all in one huge paragraph. xD Just woke up and didn't know where to break.

I see what you are saying, but this is kind of going in circles. You said it was more the feeling of betrayal than jealousy, but why do you feel betrayed? Because they lied to you? Because they went behind your back? Because they hurt you. All this is saying to me is that love really is completely selfish, because when they do something that hurts you it is unforgivable. You said "Someone loves you, and by cheating on them you're basically just taking their love and stepping over it. No decent person would do that on purpose," so if we assume that they both love each other and one cheats on the other, because that person did something that broke that love, it causes you to stop loving them. It seems like what you are saying is that you love them loving you, because when they stop it makes you stop.