[zoogarama]

I'm taking issue with this whole thread to be honest, by posting here it suggests a small part of you that is hoping they will see this thread. You can also see it in how you're explaining yourself, and if your goal was really to just get banned, you should have PM'd an admin. Not posted publicly.

If you really are apologetic, then you need to learn to accept someones boundaries completely. There are just going to be times in your life where you will never reach an external resolution with someone on something and that's life. But that doesn't mean resolution and acceptance can't come from within yourself. But that requires acceptance and ownership on your past behavior, good and bad, in order to move forward. I would heavily suggest seeking out professional therapy services.

There is no failure in asking for advice and help from someone. But it also requires you to face your weaknesses and failures head on and honestly.