[DaBackpack]

Originally Posted by devonin

Generally one shouldn't ever out somebody without their consent, but if she is out as trans in life, I don't think it would be bad to talk about.

Nor do I think anybody here is going to think that having a struggle to reconcile "my father" and "trans" makes you transphobic. Having trouble coming to terms with it is natural and expected, but that assumes that you're not denying the reality of it, or refusing to try to make efforts to integrate this information into your interactions.

my dad is open about it, he also doesn't care about pronouns

but I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it was a truly awful situation for everyone involved. It's not about accepting this person's new identity, that was always a given. it's the reconciliation of this new person (who has largely been absent since then) with the few remaining images of "my dad" I have from childhood. occasionally I meet with my dad and he'll do or say something that reminds me of how he used to be and my brain can't process it and I almost pass out/have a seizure

me reconnecting with my dad relieves a bit of my guilt complex but the cognitive dissonance is still a major obstacle for me