[Funnygurl555]

bumpdiddybumpbump update 2:

So yeah I'm actually gonna write up this proposal now.

I actually got a school which was fine with me doing what I wanna do, which was cool. As in... one actually got back to me and was like, "Cool!" But I contacted four, so I mean... I guess that isn't too bad... After I talked to the director of the teacher prep program at my school, he told me that either contacting health teachers or guidance counselors are both good approaches since they both deal with the mental health of students, albeit in different ways. I was waiting on talking to a person the teacher prep person referred me to but it might take a while to actually have a convo with that person, n' that was what I was waiting for to actually write a proposal... but I gotta have something down so a person writing me a rec letter knows what to put in a rec... this is super scattered, but yeah I wanted more advice

First of all, I thought I was forming a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to cover, but my thesis, intro neuro class, etc. made me learn I don't know a lot... about mental health... myself. Well, I know things, but I don't know a lot of things. I'll incorporate the things that were already mentioned here, but for example, I legit do not know a schizophrenic person. I don't know why, tbf... Also, I was not thinking of covering eating disorders but eating disorders are a mental illness that's pretty prevalent in adolescent girls, you know? And I knew about it, but I didn't think of talking about it, but I really should. So I'm going to miss things... I guess I have a while to write this up but still UGHHHH or maybe I should narrow my focus and talk about a few specific parts of mental health instead of being all-encompassing, but what's important and what's not and how would I know??? -___-

tfw you don't know what you don't know and don't wanna keep not knowing what you don't know.

Second, I've been told by people that I react pretty badly to things regarding mental illness/death. Like... when I talk about really bad calls that I've had when I was at a crisis hotline (with others who volunteer there), I keep a straight face. That might sound good... maybe... but it's also off-putting. I also react to mean callers in not the best way. Like, I've been told quite a few times by people that I was the reason why they were going to kill themselves. I've been told I should still have sympathy for people who say those things to me because they're mentally ill, but I don't have sympathy for them because why would you ever say that to someone (who's like, trying to help you no less). whhyyyyy?????

Maybe I'm actually a sociopath or something. gruh. I don't know, I'm just down and wanted to vent about that somewhere. Just had a conversation with my bro about some things that made the, "Maybe I'm some sociopath or something," wheels start spinning again

and maybe no one will read this and I'm wasting my time but isn't life just a waste of time no it's not life is good

either way, off to grind m m m grindthegrindlegrind

edit: hold up like a day i need to check my e-mails more often lol