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Old 06-23-2018, 01:23 PM   #66
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Default Re: Mental illness thread

Originally Posted by awein999 View Post
mental illnesses are real and they aren't your fault.
I've been reflecting on this for a moment. And my mind teeters a bit. It feels easier when I can take the pressure off myself, and think that genetics and experiences have just shaped me as this way-- I have to work on accepting things as they are.

But lately I've been real tired of just letting myself make excuses for it being okay to feel bad, or to become overwhelmed. It's okay to crumble sometimes when you've done all you can. These things distract me, they tell me to take my eyes off the road. I stop focusing on swimming through the emergent experience, and i get caught up in swirls.

Time and time again I find myself in those swirls, and i realize it is something i have to get better at predicting and avoiding. I try very hard to analyze my experiences so i can see how to improve myself or avoid pain and suffering.

It sucks to be in pain all the time. To not feel any of the real experiences of life, because of distractions from our pure experiences. I don't want to live like that anymore.

My introversion, my emotions-- these are powerful tools that can easily be used to induce damaging experiences onto myself if i'm not careful.

I need to moderate, i need to be disciplined, and i need this to become muscle memory over time.

I will change.

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