[ormix]

Originally Posted by zoogarama

I feel like you're missing a lot of what my original point was. "Knowing the person I mentioned will see this is a benefit long term" This response in particular? You were told not to contact this person and you are essentially saying, I'm really glad that I was able to get around that rule without actually breaking it. For what it's worth, I hope this person doesn't see this. Running into people in public spaces is one thing but that's not what you're doing. You continue to respond to posts with your feelings under a narrative of continuously explaining yourself even when the people commenting on here, haven't asked you for it. You are literally having the conversation you wish you could PM this person and now you've returned to check on the thread with an alt account.

So no, I don't think you have fully reconciled this and whether the intent initially was out of impulse. You let it feed your desire to be heard by this person and now you have a multi-page thread explaining your feelings around the situation. You continue to show a lack of respect for this persons wishes which was very simple, "I don't want to hear from you again."

Again, I am just a random person on the internet. If you don't want to take my opinion I can completely understand that. Which is why I'm again recommending you seek out professional help on this. Heck, show them this thread, ask them for what their thoughts are. This community is wonderful for supporting each other but sometimes you're not going to get the hard truths you need from strangers and acquaintances.

obviously I have some emotions attached to this thread subsequently, I'll just admit my actions and intentions are two different things while I'm stuck on the idea of what my intent "was". I'm sorry to "come at you" and I feel awful as I type this - thanks for sharing an honest alternative perspective.

My negitive emotions are a reflection of what I really am, of all the problems I could have, these are the ones I would... but it can always be worse.

I'm done now, but I still love this community and play this game.