[MarioNintendo]

I just read an old post in this thread where you said you struggled to sit down and write just to write. I love reading writers' stories of writing their stories. Sometimes, it's more interesting than the story itself!

A bit that made me laugh:
"Phillip believed he had succeeded in getting their attention, even those who disliked him were appearing to listen with rapt attention. Phillip was not a good judge of character."

I'm not a great reader... Just to make sure I understand the story correctly:

It's the story of children in a bus looking at a tunnel, making tales about it, and basically ending up scaring themselves by believing their own tales?

I think you definitely have a nice prose. Keep at it, never give up!