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**Brilliant Dynamite Neon** · 04-23-2009, 02:19 PM

Pretty awesome poem. Nice, natural rhythm to it, which I think is what you were going for. There are some little nitpicks in the aesthetic department (which Chaz did a good job of pointing out) but overall it's really good.

Hope to see more stuff from you. I gotta start checking this forum some more.

04-23-2009, 02:19 PM	#28
Brilliant Dynamite Neon nobody fiffers anymore. Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: 6-arrow land Age: 31 Posts: 2,440	Re: I sat by a fire with a notebook tonight. Pretty awesome poem. Nice, natural rhythm to it, which I think is what you were going for. There are some little nitpicks in the aesthetic department (which Chaz did a good job of pointing out) but overall it's really good. Hope to see more stuff from you. I gotta start checking this forum some more. __________________ ~ OFFICIALLY RETIRED FROM FFR THE GAME AND FFR TWG ~ Thanks for the memories, folks. u da bes