[MixMasterLar]

Originally Posted by Travis_Flesher

OK, here we go. Haven't done a roast in a while, but I watched a few Comedy Central roasts last week. I think I'm up to snuff.
You think the commercial cannabis industry is gonna be huuuuge.
You haven't walked a mile in six years.
When you and everyone else wear a surgical mask at Wal-Mart, you think it's a bonding experience.
You weighed the pros and cons between Biden and Trump and eventually settled on Trump because of his plans to put another billion into Medicaid.
You wear shorts at work.
You spent an entire check on a bundle of screamocore shirts from Hot Topic
You think over 100 websites will make drastic changes to their SWF policies simultaneously on a cold night this December.
You add unnecessary vowels to words such as color, armor, favorite, and superior.
You and your girlfriend, that's actually your third cousin once removed, have decided to name the baby John Michael Lee.
You think Apple products are reliable.
You pronounce the Asian surname Wang; Wāng instead of Wäng, not realizing that if it was pronounced Wāng it would be spelled Weing.
You still haven't watched this music video. Or this one.
The color of your vehicle is considered grayscale, despite having the opportunity to paint it any color you wish at any time.
You think China's population is higher than the United States' population.
You think humans invented technology and built the world's infrastructure.
You haven't heard of ProZD.
You're a vegan that weighs 81 pounds.
You consider yourself a hardcore FFR player, but have never tried solo or double.
You think Linux is reliable and a little bit mysterious.
You think Canadian's are rugged men's men that definitely don't freak out when they see black people.
You have 14 accounts on OSRS, but refuse to admit there's such a thing as RS3.
You didn't read this.
You're a prolific member of the NES, SNES, Genesis, PS1, MAME, and GBA communities, but refuse to admit the existence of any new consoles.
You're opinionated on topics of which you know nothing; such as the farming and gasoline industries; public education; NASA; social security; and sociology.
Your favorite artist is Gaugin. Renoit is a close second. Salvador Dali is third.
You're an atheist.
You added way too much feces to the compost for your tomatoes.
Your teeth are really really yellow.
You wear glasses and think that you can't see without them, but the truth is that you've never tried.
The restaurant you work at always hires cigarette smoking teenagers instead of the hundreds of muscular, intelligent, grown men that also put in applications.
And you don't try as hard as you should.

7 1/2 of these are absolutely true. I'll let you guess which ones.

Originally Posted by Travis_Flesher

But we still love you.

D'awww <3