[Midnighter]

Originally Posted by Netjet!

I enjoyed reading and reciting that poem. An issue I found was that you have a repeated use of "cry" or rhyming words thereof. You might have included it on purpose, so kudos to your for that; although, by using them repeatedly it draws away from the overall value of the message you're trying to portray. Try to incorporate different rhymes near the end, to allow for differentiation and more creativity and theme-development.

Nice job.

Thanks but, could you elaborate a bit more? If u meant in the final stanza, the last two lines are supose to be the first two refrains repeated. Like I told kitkat9 the form is villanelle, its not a very popular form nowadays but i tried to write it in that style.