[Funnygurl555]

i feel this man. i wanted to be a doctor (in the us), got a lot of interviews, bombed them all and didn't get in anywhere. i never experienced failure like that before and it absolutely broke me. i was suicidal for a while (granted, many other parts of my life were shit as well). my entire life was focused on being successful because i felt like i owed it to my parents for deciding to give birth to me and raise me after fleeing a damn civil war. although our "all or bust" mentalities came from different places, we had the same type of idea nonetheless. realizing that my personality is what hindered me from career opportunities-- a g a i n-- SUCKS because it doesn't matter how hard you work, you can't change who you are. and you can't lie forever either because that shit's draining

i'm not a doctor now-- i'm a counselor, so i've made a "career change." even in this field i failed at a job because i was too timid and passive to manage 16 people. and that *burns*. but i'm not dead and i'm not gonna die. i just did a different job in my field for a bit. i'll inevitably fail again and that's just life. i had no idea i'd end up here because life is crazy and unpredictable, but i decided to ride it like a wave

life is bigger than your accomplishments. that's easier said than to actually believe, but it's true. you need to find purpose outside of your career. that's the bigger issue than anything here. i'd recommend slowing the hell down and finding a job that gets you by while you do some serious soul searching. or, if you don't need the money, don't fucking work and do the damn soul searching. life is bigger than your accomplishments man. touch grass or get a netflix subscription

don't die that's fucking lame