[Jetfire300]

Originally Posted by roundbox

I think it's fair to not want to lie to pass the test and feel like you're living disingenuously. However, I think putting suicide as an option over any other career path is not considering all of your options. It seems like you've considered all of your options within the field of EMS as you mentioned the dead end routes, but affixing yourself to such a rigid path with little room for failure is only amplifying your stress around the situation. You don't want to jeopardize a potentially successful procession because you're thinking that suicide is a possible route in the event of failure. People change careers, and I'm not expecting you to force a change in yourself to do this since that too would be disingenuous, but you've still got lots of time in your life to see how you can take your calling to help others and reflect it down another path.

I wish you the best.

Thank you. It's true, there are other options out there where my credentials would be desirable and sought out after. It's inflexible/uncompromising of me to say, but I cannot bring myself to consider options outside of EMS. Considering this is my second career switch. In-hospital positions was and are still a consideration, but there is not much else that comes to mind. You speak sense in saying that my self-expectations for the future have brought brought an excessive amount of stress upon myself and perhaps led to single-mindedness. I'll follow your recommendation and continue thinking on what I need to do so things done. I appreciate your kind wishes and perspective.