Quote:
Originally Posted by choof
so when I was born, my biological dad peaced out and left my mom stranded. she quickly met and married my first stepdad, whom she had another son with, my bro ryan. he was a burgeoning bodybuilder and was heavy into steroid use, so he used to beat my mom and myself, would never touch ryan tho because I guess because he was his own flesh and blood and I wasn't???
anyway, during third grade she finally had enough and got a divorce, I still remember the day that my step-dad pulled my brother and I out of school to give us the news. I was out of the house pretty quickly after that day, but would still go back to the step-dad's house to stay with my brother after joint custody was figured out. beating continued, morale did not improve.
mom met another dude, derek, who became my second step-dad when I was in middle school or so. he was a martial artist, and would also get physical in a sense, but I have never deemed it to be abuse, as it was measured and never came from anger. it was never shit like getting thrown across the house like with step-dad #1, it was more showing us where certain pressure points were. whatever this isn't important lol.
derek had three daughters from another marriage, I don't consider them to be actual sisters anymore really, we hardly talk and I'm certain that they dislike me but whatever.
so when I was 12, I finally met my biological father and all of my issues kinda clicked when I met him, like I knew why I was so fucked up and it was primarily genetic shit that came from him.
my mom and derek both had pretty good careers and we were staunchly middle class until my mom had a tumor which absolutely destroyed the family and left us bankrupt. this was during high school, which made my experience measurably worse.
I'll fast forward to 17 when I joined the military. joined the army, went to boot camp during summer of '08, came back to finish senior year, dropped out because it was a culture shock. not only did I come back from boot camp with like infinite more discipline, but I also went to yet another fucking school.
when I dropped out, I went to advanced training, came back to do my national guard shit, thought the national guard was the dumbest shit ever so I went active, figured out that active duty sucked too and eventually ended up attempting suicide, getting honorably discharged.
I'll follow this post up with everything that happened after I left the military in 2011 but if you guys have questions, I'll answer em, fuck it.
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Damn, as much as you say the military sucked it seems like it was the only order you had in your life up until that point. Of late the last I heard you seemed to be making progress with career goals and what-not, have things turned around?
My life condensed:
-Grew up in upper-middle class family, babied through life, great parents
-Become socially awkward teen, resort to being class clown and drunken fool
-Go away to college, took science as it was my best grade in high school, drunken antics continue but unchecked as live with peers
-Graduate, no idea what do with chem degree
-Go to teacher's college, find out I can't stand dealing with little jerks like I was once in school, have no passion for teaching
-Drinking issues continue, end up in trouble with the po-lice for it
-Quit drinking for a year, then become recluse / nervous to socialize, all my friends are drunks too
-Get my current job in insurance, things looking good, still living at home and saving $$$
-Get a house, start working out and feeling confident again
-Decide to go out with a buddy of mine, much fun / would do again etc.
-Continue going out to bars every weekend, introduced to mdma / coke
-Told myself this would just be for 1 year while I'm still "young" at 28
-Right when my buddy and I were about to quit, meet ex-gf who is also into partying
-Partying continues, eventually I start getting anxiety attacks thinking something's wrong with heart
-Nothing wrong with heart, but know I need to quit as losing my mind
-Break up with gf as that's all she wants to do
-Find out 2 wks later ex-gf is now a stripper, I feel partially responsible because I had turned her life around when I met her (if you believe it)
-Occasionally still see crazy stripper ex-gf, one evening she is freaking out and wants me to pick her up from work
-I decide pick her up, she ends up having a meltdown, wants to just leave my house by herself late at night all messed up. I decide to stop her at the door and hold her down until she calms down.
-Backfires and ex goes completely apeshit, I let go and don't know what else to do
-Ex runs off and calls police
-Get criminal charges (again), still ongoing
-Now 30, still going out every weekend shoving $100 up my nose and imbibing another $50, still getting anxiety
-Recently obtained Xanax through a friend, helps my anxiety so much
-Started running again, feeling like I'm turning things around
-To be continued...?
Oh shit on a positive note my sister had her first child, so I'm an uncle
