[ThunderFlip]

After reading through this thread in its entirety, I feel like I should at least offer what little support I can.

As a disclaimer, I will be completely transparent and say that I was raised in a home with two loving parents that, for the most part, got along really well and never did anything that wasn't in my best interest. I've never struggled with suicidal thoughts and only gone through the smallest amounts of depression or sadness that were all very brief and circumstantial. I did, however, have trouble being social from about middle school to late high school. The only "friends" I had would belittle me and bully me for no reason at all. I ended up changing schools when the opportunity came up and met some great people there. Even after all of that, I still can be kind of distant with people and working on my social skills is a matter of daily learning. Anyway, enough about me, just thought I would lay a little background so you can take anything I say with a grain of salt (hopefully I don't say anything accidentally offensive or rediculous).

I really don't know how to gauge the relationship between you and your parents, especially with my bias. I tend to have a hard time grasping the fact that there are a lot of kids that have parents that are either abusive or struggle to care for them properly. Considering the fact that your parents are trying to control which direction you are heading, I think it's safe to say that they care about you. If they literally let you do whatever you wanted with no retaliation, that would be a way worse situation IMO.

So considering the fact that they must care about you, I would say your best bet is to get them to understand your situation and your needs. This is obviously a difficult thing and pretty much takes a lot of patience. My biggest advice is that you need to stay calm and firm when you discuss things with them. Especially if your talks usually end up in raised voices, arguments, or being ignored, I think they will really take notice if you come to them with a serious tone and you don't react in a heated way. It might even freak them out a little bit.

As far as the content of what to tell them, that is going to have to be up to you. I would recommend calmly letting them know that you want to share with them how you are feeling and how you are thinking about your situation. Try to overcome your fear of opening up to them and tell them as accurately as you can how things are for you. If you follow this up with saying that you want help with changing your circumstances, they should have absolutely no reason to deny you help. If you manage all of this while keeping a calm attitude, not cutting them off when they talk, but politely listening to what they have to say and they STILL react with indifference or blatantly tell you that they don't care, then you have a real problem on your hands. At that point, I would seek outside help and take matters in your own hands. I hardly think it will escalate to that stage, but I don't really know your parents so who knows.

If you keep the mindset that your parents love you and are only trying to help, it hopefully will help you remain calm when dealing with them. If it really starts to go south, just stop and politely say something like "I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated right now. I don't want to argue about this, I just want you to see where I am coming from. Can we talk about it later when I've cooled down a little bit?" If you default to admitting that you are the one at fault (even if they are), it will really put a damper on any arguments and will make productive conversation waaaay more likely to happen.

I really wish I had more to give on this subject, I just don't feel like I have enough personal experience to be useful. I've had a pretty close relationship with a couple of people who were having pretty serious suicidal thoughts, but all I really could end up doing in those situations was constantly let them know that I cared about them and offered my ears to listen to whatever they wanted to talk to me about.

As with everyone else, if you really just need a set of ears with no criticism coming back at you, I am always willing to just listen. I'm not the kind of person to spread anything around, either. I just listen and store it in the vault. I can't promise a lot of helpful advice, but if you just need someone to talk to, I'm available.

My personal joy stems from my spiritual relationship with God and the church, but I know that isn't a very popular stance these days, and I don't want to appear like I'm forcing anything on anybody so I'll leave it at that. I just find it works out pretty well for me since it doesn't rely on my current circumstances, and I find it easier to maintain emotional stability and a positive outlook.

EDIT: Oh, and thanks to Icy for that real transparency. It's nice to see people willing to show a little bit of vulnerability for the sake of helping someone else. None of us are perfect and all of us deal with our own crap.