First off, the purpose of the infraction system is two-fold -- it helps users in that they can be warned when they are committing to poor behavior, and it also helps staff in that there are no "arbitrary" ban lengths; a person receiving a ban for a particular reason based off of infractions will receive the same ban length as someone else receiving a ban for the same reason.
As an example, I will use krunkykai22's recent ban from the forums due to disrespect towards other users/staff, which is a 4 point infraction. He received a warning through the infractions system, which sends out a private message indicating that you have received a forum warning, with the respective punishment that will be received and the point value that punishment will hand out to you. Here's what the private message would look like to you:
Quote:
Dear (username),
You have received a warning at FlashFlashRevolution.
Reason:
-------
Insulting or Rude Behaviour toward Users
(infraction reason)
-------
Original Post:
(link of post here)
Quote:
(post content)
Warnings serve as a reminder to you of the forum's rules, which you are expected to understand and follow.
All the best,
FlashFlashRevolution
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At that point, you will have the opportunity to also communicate with the staff member that issued the warning, in an attempt to alleviate further issues. Continued misbehavior/belligerence will result in another warning, or an actual point-based infraction, depending on how strict the staff member is or how strict the punishment is. Ban lengths are determined based off of how many points you have, with higher point values giving you longer bans.
Single infractions that hand out a large number of points typically give you longer bans than those that are continuously built up (for example: a 20 point infraction in one shot will give you 18 months). However, points built up over time actually have a specific amount of time you have to wait before disappearing, like a probationary period.
As far as more clearly defining what "being rude to a user" is, if it incites a ton of drama or if a person finds offense to it (for example, if the post is reported by an uninvolved party), that's likely grounds for being punished. It's not always possible for a user to read another user's intent when they make a post, and something that might come across as blunt to you might come across as excessively rude to someone else.