[ddrxero64]

These are only opinions, but I'd like to share my thoughts. Feel free to disagree and dismiss all of them if you'd like.

Paragraph 1

Generic hook. This is probably the hardest part of essay writing for me, so try to imagine yourself reading this essay for pleasure, and not as an assignment. After reading the first sentence, do you really want to read more? Play on people's temptations, and hook the reader to want to read the essay. For example (bold is yours, italics is mine):

Although automobiles have contributed many pros and cons to today’s society, I believe there is a mass over-usage of them.

Have you ever drove to the gas station and sighed as you pumped gallons and gallons of over priced gasoline into your brand new car? It's no doubt that these hard economic times are a result to the over-usage of automobiles nowadays.

They emit hazardous chemicals into our environment. They are responsible for countless accidental deaths and are used as weapons in extreme instances.

You should join these two. You make four points here, and it makes the sentence fluidity very bland and concrete. Start at the second sentence and read those three points out loud. Now read the second sentence and then read this:

They emit hazardous chemicals into our environment and are responsible for countless accidental deaths, being used as weapons in extreme instances.

It's important to keep that last part, because it was building on to your third point. There is a fragile line between a complex sentence and a run on, but if worded correctly can be spoken without the need for a breath. Imagine that every essay you write is oral. You need to assume that every essay you write may one day be spoken.

Good closing sentence in the first paragraph, made a solid argument.

Paragraph 2

I rode 8 miles going to and from school for 5 days every week my entire Senior year of high school, and continue to do so.

I can see you shifted the tone in this paragraph to make it a bit personal. I do see a little run on in this sentence though. Two things I would do is change the tense to give it a powerful personal tone. I would also fix it up to shorten it a bit. I also assume that you had 5 days of school a week, so you can simply say "everyday." Or in my example, you can even omit it. Also, any number below 100 is written out in formal essay writing. I don't think senior needs to be capitalized either, at least not when it's used as an adjective.

I'd ride eight miles going to and from school my entire senior year of high school, and to this day I continue to do so.

It does have it’s challenges. The elements, other commuters in vehicles four or more times my size, poor pavement conditions, etc. But the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t be riding still.

Like I said, you're making this paragraph a little personal, so add a bit more personal and informal phrasing. Also take out "or more" because it makes the reader think more than they have to, and it makes the consistency of the essay a bit awkward. Like someone who is making their point but starts to digress over little issues in their speech. Four times the size is perfectly fine when making your point, and it only supports the real point you're stressing - the dangers of riding around larger vehicles. Also, wrong it's (it should be its). Here's my example.

I do admit, it does have its challenges. The elements, other commuters in vehicles four times my size, poor pavement conditions, etc. But the advantages still outweigh the disadvantages. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t bother riding.

Paragraph 3

For the last ten years or so, more and more publicity has been drawn to the United States’ obesity epidemic.

For the last ten years or so, more and more publicity has been drawn to the obesity epidemic seizing the United States.

This may seem minor and even unnecessary, but imagine you're speaking these words. It starts off great, but by the end, it sounds like you're going to spew a bunch of nouns. If you read my example, a normal person would probably stress "seizing" a bit more, giving a natural pause to the sentence. It really is minor and not needed, but it does give it a tiny bit more polish (use that as imagery lol).

Some people blame poor diets dictated by fast food chain-restaurants, but any dietician will tell you that being physically fit isn’t just in the food you eat, but it is also in how your body uses it.

First sentence is run on. It is a bit hard to rephrase it while keeping the point, but it can be done. I would also replace "people" with "of us." This involves the reader in the essay, and makes them not only feel like they're a part of it but that they have responsibility in this as well. After all, the goal of this essay is to motivate people to drive less and ride more right? Also, if you're going to make "is not" into a contraction, you may as well make "it is" into "it's" to keep the consistency.

Some of us blame poor diets dictated by fast food chain-restaurants, but any dietician will tell you otherwise. Being physically fit isn’t just in the food you eat, but it's also in how your body uses it.

Love the last sentence, simplifying the whole problem into one rhetorical question. You seem to be good at summarizing your point haha.

Paragraph 4

In an interview with a radio host who had previously gone on an on-air anti-cyclist tirade, Armstrong stated “When I grew up in the 1960s, 50 percent of kids walked or rode their bikes to school. Now it’s 5 percent. The obesity rate was 14 percent. Today it’s 50. “

Put a comma after the word host, it makes the sentence a little less run on. Also, the quotation marks after 50 looks weird, but it could be what you're using to type. But there is an unnecessary space after the last 50. It should be (50."), (not 50. "). I wouldn't worry about the numbers being stated as digits (remember, numbers under 100 should be written out) because it's a quote, but do watch out for technicalities such as those. I'm being very picky with this, but only because my high school English teacher in senior year would take off points just for errors like these. Research papers and important essays are no joke in an English class.

As a school-attending child, I either rode the school bus or had my parent’s drive me to school. This is the way it was for everyone I knew at my school, and when they got old enough, they started driving themselves. A good percentage walked to school, but they lived significantly closer than most of the other students.

A school attending child is a very awkward way to say it. I would say a "privileged child who attended school regularly." The privileged puts emphasis on the fact you were driven and using a bus, which some students don't always get to do. Also, parents shouldn't have an apostrophe. "...when they got old enough, they started..." contains an unnecessary comma, so take that one out and keep the previous one. "A good percentage of my peers" sounds a bit better, even though it's inferred that the subject is the students. The problem is some people assume that they can always use inferences because it's shorter, but it's not always bad to bring up the subject again to keep it fresh in the reader's mind.

The comma after "theft target" should be taken out. I would even rephrase that to say "target for theft." Theft target sounds grammatically incorrect, I don't know if theft can be used as an adjective. You also used a semicolon after mind, which may seem right. There is a lot of confusion between using a dash and semicolon, but it should be a dash. The use of a semicolon separates an independent clause from another if I remember correctly. If you're making a significant pause and making another statement that may not be closely related (or making another point), use a dash. Here's an example of a way I'd use a semicolon. I'm only speaking from what I know, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm wrong. Your "w" in where is capitalized too, but it shouldn't be. Example:

I was always riding my bike 4 miles to get to school; I would be out of breath every time I finally arrived.

Notice

I can proofread it more, but I realize it takes me a long time to do so. I don't like to half ass proofreads, so if you want me to review it a bit more let me know. If not, I'll assume you're doing fine. Either way I was glad to give you some opinions.