[DotKritic]

A stereotypical black guy steps out of the shower in a college
locker room. An Asian guy checks out his penis and says, “How come
yours is so huge? I would love to have one like that.”

The black guy laughs and says, “You can. Tie a heavy weight to it
for a couple of weeks. It’ll stretch and get big and look just
like mine.”

Two weeks later they meet again. The black guy asks, “Has it grown
any?”

The poor Asian guy responds, “It hasn’t grown at all yet - but it
has gone black!”

edit: another joke that i like. it's not a dick/fart joke.

Saturday Morning, 2:00 am

Early Saturday morning a policeman waited across the street from a popular bar, hoping to a nail a drunken driver, possibly preventing a tragic accident.

At closing time the patrons came out and the officer spotted his potential quarry. One man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.

After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.

Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00.

The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" he exclaimed.

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I am the designated decoy!"