[Aristaella-Shintani]

It's a pretty good poem, but the bolded part below is kind of off... I dunno, there's something missing there. The rest is good, though. I like it

Originally Posted by Aleste

Maybe this is more likened to prose. tell me what you think. it is titled "adrift."


the soft light that hangs in the mist
above impenetrable waters,
churning murkily beneath heavy feet,
illuminates the pieces
of a forgotten memory.
Unable to follow; watching
with solemn eyes that glisten
as if trapped in the past.
The thoughts dance serenely
out to sea, gliding out delicately
across the surface of a broken dream;
Exhuming idle feelings to
never return again.