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-   -   poem my brother wrote (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=107788)

Cloud0005 04-8-2009 07:17 PM

poem my brother wrote
 
For our recently departed grandfather

Your pictures are in frames,
Just memories on our walls.
To have you here again,
We would gladly give them all.

A picture cannot capture,
The beauty of your skin.
Or the radiating glow I'd feel,
Whenever you would grin.

They cannot talk or joke with me,
The way you used to do.
I could never love another,
The way I'll always love you.

So I look at you, my Grampa,
Just a picture in a frame..
I cry my tears of Sorrow,
Because I feel that God's to blame.

He came and took the one,
Who made my life complete.
And now all that's left are pictures,
And next to me, and empy seat.

It seems like I have a void,
Down deep within my soul.
A piece that can't be replaced,
Without you, I am not whole.

I'll try not to let the grief,
Totally overcome my day.
So i'll blow a kiss to heaven,
And send it when I pray.

I'll ask God to free me now,
From a world so cold and blue.
To take me up to Heaven,
So I can fly with you.

I'm waiting for that day to come,
To hear you calling out my name..
Until then, I'll be staring at,
Your picture in a frame..

kitkat9 04-9-2009 11:49 PM

Re: poem my brother wrote
 
Very nice. I really like it. And I'm sorry about your grandfather.

You had a simple typo-"And next to me, and empy seat." An

There is one line that I feel does not fit and that is, "So I can fly with you."
I think it would sound much better like,
So I can fly away with you

Your brother doesn't have to take it to heart it's his poem, but I think it would flow a little bit better. Overall it is very good.

Master Hakuoh9872 04-27-2009 05:00 PM

Re: poem my brother wrote
 
Such a heartfelt poem. Though it may not win any awards, its certainly won
my heart..


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