Re: Mental illness thread
 

you guys ever get that feeling were you're mind thinks of fucked up stuff and you know you aren't that kind of a person but are still concerned were those thoughts come from?

edit:some times I feel like I'm going to snap in public to tell my head to stop what its doing -.-

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Not diagnosed or anything but i think i have a serious case of gaming addiction, but I'm not sure if i want to fix it

Re: Mental illness thread
 

it took u many moons to acquire that level of gaming addiction you can't just quit now

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Manifestations, of my frustration from holding in my depression and anxiety, through nightmares is really hard sometimes. Like just now when I was taking a nap, I had a dream that a girl and I who loved each other kept living in different instances of existence. Except she has a curse where she turns into a demon (often triggered when I come near her) and kills everything in sight with strength and speed that disregarded physics. I kept trying to talk to her, trying to turn her back with words and my feelings, but she just ended up killing me. Which was REAAAAALLLY painful. Then I woke up in another instance of existence, and I decided I was going to keep trying to help her turn back from her demonic form so I kept triggering the catalyst and I kept waking up in different areas with her, while she had different grievances each time she turned into a demon. I couldn't turn her back, and each time I failed she killed me (WHICH FELT LIKE I ACTUALLY DIED OWWWWWWWW ;_; ). Eventually after about 60 tries I lost hope and gave up but I kept waking up in the instances near her and I couldn't stop her from transforming anymore and eventually I just kept pleading with her not to kill me because it really hurt and I didn't want to be hurt anymore. She kept killing me in different ways. I couldn't escape her. Every time I tried to jump to my death hoping for a less painful death, she would show up every time and grab me out of the air and kill me. I was stuck in a cycle of constantly seeing my love transform into a demon which kept killing me and I couldn't do anything to help or escape. I kept dying. it was awful. It was torture! I'm so glad to be awake right now.

I had a nightmare where I was in class but I had a headache so I was taking some aspirin but I kept taking them without realizing and eventually it made me almost fall unconscious in class and when I woke up I was in a room with some administrator trying to understand what I had done and I kept getting angry that he wasn't believing me and starting smashing things out of anger and he kept telling me that what I was doing wasn't helping my case..

Then I finally woke up, but I was having a really difficult time opening and keeping my eyes open (because the thermostat was low and the body sleeps better when it is low) and I wanted to stay away from the first nightmare I kept slapping myself to stay awake. My heart still hurts for some reason I can't pinpoint but I know it's related to the nightmares.

Talking about it what these nightmares are manifesting from doesn't help, I tried that a lot. The anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication I am on doesn't reduce the nightmares, they only help me feel better when I am awake. I don't know how to get rid of these constant nightmares and I hate it

Re: Mental illness thread
 

I get pretty bummed out when I am lonely - I am not sure if it's a mental illness, but it does get pretty dark with me.
How do you guys find out you are not 'average', per sae?

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Theyre called intrusive thoughts theyre normal

Im diagnosed bipolar I and it describes most of the symptoms i experience.

Its normal to be upset about feeling lonely thats normal too ...

If you really feel like you might have a mental disorder then consult a psychiatrist. Look up user reviews of said psychiatrist before meeting with them. The last thing you need is getting misdiagnosed and being perscribed medication that you dont need. (or even worse .... Experience unnecessary side effects)

I treat medication as a last resort dire straits kind of thing. You should practice every coping skill before convinicing yourself you need medication. Try meditating some time.

There's a really fine line between depression caused by exterior factors and depression thats caused by an actual serotonin uptake deficiency within your brain.

Re: Mental illness thread
 

''''''

Re: Mental illness thread
 

i have a serious avocado addiction

Re: Mental illness thread
 

I have a plethora of them, and what I've learned is this:

The sooner you get treatment for mental illness, the better the quality of your life will be.

Re: Mental illness thread
 

define "quality life"

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Re: Mental illness thread
 

i'm sick of seeing all these things saying "maybe it will get better" or saying that life gets better, because what is really a "good life"? To me its just some human social construct of what it means to be happy, like this idea that furthering yourself or "improving" yourself will make you happy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilism

The more I think about it, the more I feel like this ^

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Gotta get that good job and learn good so you can continue to live the same lonely bullshit existence, devoid of any meaning, knawm sayin'

Re: Mental illness thread
 

I feel like maybe even if there's no meaning the experience of life can still be worth it just because... there's happiness, there's beauty, there's for some reason a part of you that wants life to have meaning and wants to keep pushing on towards something

Like we don't have to lead a "lonely bullshit existence," and I think that's one thing people can mean when they say that it gets better? That things will happen and time will pass and eventually, maybe, you'll feel like life is worth living in itself, meaning or no
It's not very convincing when you're struggling but it's easier to see this once you come out on the other side again

(This gets kind of complicated because I'm actually pretty religious, and I feel like that's the primary thing that pushes me away from Nihilism, but religion is a whole other discussion and frankly not one I want to have except in PMs)
(...But one's worldview does completely change their beliefs about all of these things in general anyways, "what is a good life" etc etc)

Re: Mental illness thread
 

@Dingle

What I mean is how one feels on a daily basis. A couple months ago, I was feeling extremely paranoid and delusional constantly. I ended up having to check myself into a psych ward. As soon as I got the proper mental health care, I started to feel more at peace with my life.

Re: Mental illness thread
 

i'm p. nihilistic but i feel that life's meaning is up to the person living it

Re: Mental illness thread
 

gotta reach d8 boys

Re: Mental illness thread
 

statistically 100% of unhappy people are not d8

also respect to you A2P, happy you're feeling better about things

Re: Mental illness thread
 

Well if anyone carries this through to the previous post of my thread, the reset method I had been 'working' on (its the opposite of effort, so not sure how to best describe it) suddenly and unexpectedly clicked at a clear, unsurpassable level of consciousness a couple months ago.

I suppose that experience would be called delusional by the DSM term for it. Mystical is the term I would use for it.
Not my fault mysticism is all but dead in my society.

In the irony of ironies, the moment I finally felt good enough to not desire medical intervention for my 'mental health' (fuck how I hate that loaded term) I was offered a local psychiatrist. They are in very short supply, usually have wait lists of years. Their office even called me back a week ago or so, trying to follow up with me. Deleted the voicemail. Bitches wouldn't know what to do with me if they actually talked to me now anyways.

In further news, I am reminded, once again, how seriously I have to take my diet. The neurological aspects of my celiac disease flare up so easily, and will flare up for week/weeks at a time. Being high all the time kinda masked how much physical pain I get in. The mental issues of course is horrible too. Emotionally as well. My body temperature fluctuates just as much as my emotions and my mind. It's a whole body thing but like...the psyc ward where I get forced into doesn't even listen when I tell them that I actually sleep fine for the most part. They do not realize that I have an autoimmune disorder that affects my entire body and my mind, and it gets me just angry talking about the total unawareness that celiac disease affects me neurologically that every doctor I run into, has. Because until I see a neurologist, my own knowledge of my own body and the -obvious putting together of many other people knowingly having my symptoms who have my disease- are -not enough-
As if! There's no standardized test for this stuff anyways, all a neurologist can go by is my own words anyways!

It's frustrating not being able to be social with most people over food. Most people don't understand. Most people try to offer me food I can't actually eat although they insist it is safe. No. No it is not safe. Had the hospital try to serve me glutinous food too, on more than once. Once was an accident. Another time it was clearly a bowl of cheerios, not gluten free, I can't eat oats. I literally can't trust someone else to prepare food for me. I have had nurses say to me 'So you're refusing to eat?' The hospital in cobourg doesn't even have gluten free meals, much less gluten AND dairy free food.

I risk eating out when I travel (I've travelled a bunch in the past couple years) and every time I get some sort of contamination.

Weed that once relaxed me now makes my mind race even more. Since the flip switched a few months ago I am not depressed anymore. I do however experience fear at a level I did not before though.

It feels good to read about other celiacs who have problems like I do. Many of them have it worse than me.

Going back to not eating dairy anymore. Dairy definitely affects my neurology in a bad way. Definitely linked to the celiac disease. Linked to the fear of things. Linked to pain. Linked to my -very recent- lack of sleep (but that's also related to stopping weed so suddenly). I've read numerous articles about it being linked to schizophrenia in general.