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-   -   Today's the Day (http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?t=108576)

Midnighter 05-11-2009 07:58 PM

Today's the Day
 
Here's my another love poem by me . Just one of those nice pasttimes, it good for relaxing. ;)

Lingering lightly in the air
Rests the fragrance of what once was there.
Calm and serene in every way,
I've waited along that path each day.

The chilling breath of the Autumn breeze
Soothes and caresses the playful leaves.
Dancing in air till they reach the ground;
Touching down lightly without a sound.

Calm and serene in every way, I've waited along that path each day.

In the distance train of thought,
I stow away no ticket yet bought.
Hidden well and out of sight,
Consumed in ideas, engulfed in light,
Ideas on how to tie a shoe,
Some on the silly thing people do.

Suddenly I'm back, quick as a wink.
That was quite some time for only a blink.
Back in this day standing here,
Hoping, hoping that she would reappear.

Calm and serene in everyday, I've waited along that path and today's the day.

Devonaut 05-17-2009 01:22 AM

Re: Today's the Day
 
Hmmm...

Your inherent use of rhyme in this poem is quite stifling, actually.

Break from the form. You're an artist. Not a conformist.

Say what you really mean, always, at all of the times you may.
For breezes blow in air often.
Each one will carry on an unknown grain of sand.
Somewhere quite distant, and profound.

No chain nor title, place nor palace, shall ever fill your waiting chalice.

You, my friend, must pour for yourself.

[Ticks off another post]

Forums do quite annoy me.

Flaming_Dingleberry 05-17-2009 01:34 AM

Re: Today's the Day
 
I like rhyming poems, that's the stuff rite thar.

NFD 05-17-2009 01:50 AM

Re: Today's the Day
 
Here's a poem.


Last night
I had a dream about you
In this dream
I'm dancing right beside you

And it looked
Like everyone was having fun
The kind of feeling
I've waited so long for

Don't stop
Come a little closer
As we jam
The reason get's stronger

There's nothing wrong
With just a little little fun
We were dancing
All night long

Flaming_Dingleberry 05-19-2009 06:04 PM

Re: Today's the Day
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NFD (Post 3076632)
Here's a poem.


Last night
I had a dream about you
In this dream
I'm dancing right beside you

And it looked
Like everyone was having fun
The kind of feeling
I've waited so long for

Don't stop
Come a little closer
As we jam
The reason get's stronger

There's nothing wrong
With just a little little fun
We were dancing
All night long

Don't plagiarize Daft Punk xD


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