Thinking about suicide
 

I know I said I pretty much stopped playing FFR but the osu community isn't as caring as this one and I just want to say this before I do it. I'm really close to stabbing myself.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Suicide doesn't stop the pain

It just passes it on to someone else

Take it from someone who's tried

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Hey man, I'm sorry you feel like that. I really encourage you to get help if you really feel that way.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Not a good idea. Call a professional in your area if you are truly considering.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Do not consider suicide, Rapta. If you think you're trying to convenience or do a favor, you're not. There really is not a single reason to justify suicide, so please do not do it. I am sure there is someone here who can listen and possibly help you out, but for now, do not stab yourself.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

if it's not too much of a financial burden (i.e. if you have health insurance), then get hospitalized

if you're this close to stabbing yourself then you shouldn't be left alone

$0.02

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

I do not know you well, but I can assure you suicide should not be on the list of options for you to do to make yourself feel better. Not only is it something very permanent, do you understand the pain and stress and emotions you'd put people close to you through?

There are reasons why you wake up every day, why you go out and live your life (even if you FEEL it's not the best), magnify on those reasons and make the best of them, or make changes to your habits to pull you out of the negative rut.

I'm sure you've already heard this all before, now it's up to you to decide if you want to listen and understand. I hope you feel better.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

To you and to anyone else in a similar position:

I suggest allowing yourself to be completely open to people who are willing to listen and respond without judging you. I've seen some great posts from people on here that care enough and perhaps that can help you reconsider. I've had suicidal thoughts for 5 years and for others it can be a lot longer than that. There's still healthier choices of coping with it that may peak your interest like exercising or doing productive hobbies like cooking, for example. Keep in mind that the negativity you have was most likely imposed by awful parenting or bad experiences outside of home, or both, or even a lot more than that. It's a lot of different possibilities. Find the root causes of what hurts you most and take it step-by-step to recover from it. Accept the things in the past that you can't change and change what you can in the present that benefits you in a good and healthy manner. I don't know your life 100% but I have empathy and care enough to want you to read through this and to stay away from any bad impulses.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

How will you be able to find out the moment you're at peace with yourself once you're dead ?

What thesunfan said, seek out for professional help.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Hey man. I don't know you on a personal level, but whatever in your life that's making you consider suicide, it is never the permanent solution to your problems. The people in your life that are close to you will miss you dearly, and you wouldn't want to put them through that, would you? Please, seek help if you're feeling this way. If you also want to talk about what's making you consider this, I've sent you a PM. Or you can talk to any one of us if you need to.

Just don't stab yourself. :( Please.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

I don't understand how this would make you reach that conclusion.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don’t exist, only that you are currently unable to see them right now.

Therapists and counselors (and sometimes friends) can help you to see solutions to depression/pain that otherwise are not apparent to you. I duly recommend asking about, and see what your options are for maybe talking to someone irl. Though, if you have no one irl to talk to, you could always talk to us about it if you'd like.

I've said at one point or another that usually when I'm thinking of suicide, I'm also really depressed too, and it can be really hard to talk to people or reach out for help when you got social anxiety, depression, or doing anything, really. But hear me out on this; Even if you do the opposite of anything, which is nothing, it is still a better choice than suicide. As a person still currently living with depression and decided to do nothing in response to suicidal thoughts/tendencies, I can confirm this first hand.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Killing yourself doesn't mean its over, but that's always up for debate. The only apparent thing we can assess in life is that it's purpose is to live in.

All philosophical or spiritual aspects aside, your run a far greater risk of potentially plummeting your self in a worse place that you didn't think could get any worse - like becoming a depressed vegetable all your life (be happy like hi19 and step dank files) cause you can't forget all the goodness in life in vain :(

Don't do it sir.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Before this thread goes into an amateur counseling philosophy session (oops too late), can I just ask:

why?

you didn't give a reason other than "I stopped playing FFR"

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

If rhythm games are actually making you contemplate killing yourself then maybe it's time to put away the rhythm games for a while.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Hey homy, I am here for you. I can be that shoulder you need to lean on to get through this tough time.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Rapta you are too good to die

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

My mom came in with the laundry before I did it and we got into a huge fight. I'll never understand how something so coincidental happened (who does laundry at midnight?). After I add accepted death my body was going crazy. I was shaking a lot, my heart was beating incredibly fast, and I was breathing heavily. Before the argument my mother took my knife and after, I was exhausted from the experience and I feel asleep almost as soon as I laid in bed. I think it was an in the moment feeling caused by being depressed. I don't regret what I was about to do but I'm not glad I didn't do it either.
I stayed home today and I don't know what my parents have in mind, I haven't gotten out of bed yet.
Rhythm games are one of the three things that distract me from depression. Guitar is one and watching anime is one. previous thread

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

Don't let your depression overwhelm you. Things seem terrible now, but you're better than that Rapta. Life won't continue this way forever.

Re: Thinking about suicide
 

I originally started playing stepmania back in 2001 to get my mind off things. Kind of lame that you eventually become good enough to where you can start day dreaming while playing anyway.

I guess it would be a good idea to continue learning new things. Try new hobbies or whatever. Don't let yourself fall into an endless mundane schedule that doesn't require any thought.