well then
 

< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail

Re: well then
 

<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW
<Dauntless> ... LOL
<Montana> omg here we go
<Dauntless> Can you say bash.org?
<Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers.
<Montana> Screw this
<Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth:
<Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE
<Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it.
<Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself:
<Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING!
<Montana> Now for the topic of sex:
<Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK!
<Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity.
<Montana> Hmm
<Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction!
<Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn.
<Montana> </end rant>
<Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb
<Dauntless> o_o

Re: well then
 

<%wgluv2hunt> I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks.
<%wgluv2hunt> I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
<%wgluv2hunt> One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!"
<%wgluv2hunt> So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"
<%wgluv2hunt> That's all I remember.

Re: well then
 

*stands up in the audience, begins clapping slowly..... the claps get louder and louder and erupt into a roar, everyone is standing up and clapping*

Re: well then
 

but have I told you the story about the dinoghetti? ; )

edit: here u go, tru story

http://pastebin.com/sZgn96hd

Re: well then
 

quality read. was that you?

Re: well then
 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Re: well then
 

bash.org