Let me just start off by saying that I could use some flames right now because goddamn, the heating unit for my magitek armor got messed up on the way here and I'm freezing my ass off.



So, we gotta go to the city, something about an esper, something about magic, I'm a witch, yadda yadda yadda MECHWARRIOR.



Narshe... It seems quiet...



Too quie- oh shit, they knew we were coming.



Fried those guys, let's see what's over here...



Guard. Dog. Guard doge.



Keep heading a bit north, aw shit, more of them?



After thrashing more guards, we finally get past the center of the town.



Shit.



Alright, here we go. The new mine shaft. This is what we've been looking for.



Entering the shaft, ever so slowly.



I can throw fire at people with my hands and you think I need to learn about save points?



Giant rats and bandits? Either the miners got spooked by the esper and haven't been in here for months, or they're just not the best at safety management.



A blockade, maybe I can just blow it up using my sick magic...



...or you could just ram into it with a massive chunk of metal, that's totally safe.



THIS WAS TOO EASY



Ymir? Is that one of the local immigrants here to start a family?



Oh my god what is that what whathwthawthwhthwat



Okay, Biggs said not to hit it's shell, so let's watch and s- WEDGE YOU PIECE OF SHIT



Yeah, that kinda hurt.



But now that he's popped out, let's hit him ha- dude, c'mon.



That hurt a lot.



After trading blows back and forth, we finally defeat Ymir!




The esper...



shitshitshitshitshitshi



welp



It just blew Biggs away...



And Wedge, too...



GOING SUPER SAIYAN



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



Where am I?



My head hurts. :'(



Not kinky at all.



It comes back to me... I'm...



...and my name is Choof.



Glad you think so, maybe it's because I can heal wounds with my mind.



Great googly moogly (HEH), I'm hot.



Apparently you think I'm made of some really tough stuff.



shitshitshitshitshitshi






Up next, I escape Narshe with the help of... a man.

Alright, here's the cave, let's do this, I got this, c'monnnnn.



Okay, not too bad so far.



Two vaporites?



NUKE 'EM.



Save point, aw yiss.



Treasure chest, aw yiss.



Oh cool, a phoenix down that I can use on myself in case I... get knocked out....



Another chest!



Yeaaah, I'll just hold onto this for now. No need for a nap while I'm running from some guards who want to question, torture, and probably kill me.



Giant rats!



Barbecue as fuck.



Keep running towards the exit, only to hear from behind me...



I've been cornered. Fuck, this is it. This is the end of my journey, I never got to meet a good guy, settle down, have a family...



AAAAAAAAAAAAAA



ouch fuck



okay, I'm good. I'm fine, I'm



nvm




FLASHBACK



Who the fuck laughs like that?




Dude, ew.



"She lives!"



Why are there here, what am I doing?



I just melted the fuck out of a soldier, and I'm supposed to be on their side?



Seriously, "uwee-hee-hee?" No one laughs like that.



Even under total control, I refuse to do the Nazi salute.



Oh, is this my savior?



Treasure hunter, searching for relics of the past? That could mean anything, sounds like this guy may be kinda shady...



Locke?



Naaaaaaaah.



Okay, V, jeeze. Treasure hunter it is.




Next up, watch V murder like 12 people... with a band of furries.