well then
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph < Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road < Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway < Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us < Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop < Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell < Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes < Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE" < Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license < Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground < Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen < Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here" < Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently < Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live < Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail |
Re: well then
<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW
<Dauntless> ... LOL <Montana> omg here we go <Dauntless> Can you say bash.org? <Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers. <Montana> Screw this <Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth: <Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE <Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it. <Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself: <Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING! <Montana> Now for the topic of sex: <Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK! <Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity. <Montana> Hmm <Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction! <Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn. <Montana> </end rant> <Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb <Dauntless> o_o |
Re: well then
<%wgluv2hunt> I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks.
<%wgluv2hunt> I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" <%wgluv2hunt> One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" <%wgluv2hunt> So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?" <%wgluv2hunt> That's all I remember. |
Re: well then
*stands up in the audience, begins clapping slowly..... the claps get louder and louder and erupt into a roar, everyone is standing up and clapping*
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Re: well then
but have I told you the story about the dinoghetti? ; )
edit: here u go, tru story http://pastebin.com/sZgn96hd |
Re: well then
quality read. was that you?
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Re: well then
Quote:
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Re: well then
bash.org
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