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Deadlyx39 11-30-2015 06:50 AM

What should I do?
 
Lately I've been having a lot of wondering about my life and the way I'm heading. I currently don't have a job, don't have a license or car, and don't have anything in place for my future. I don't really ever get out of the house to hang out with friends, and I'm getting tired of following the same pattern everyday of my life, knowing that I'm wasting away what many consider the best years of their lives.

I'm always never paying attention in school. I left the school I used to attend - which was one of the hardest high schools in the nation - because I didn't wish to put in the effort to stay at the school, and because I felt that I was always being compared to my sister about everything at that school, as she graduated from there and got nearly a full ride to Oakland University. Even now, I'm not getting the same grades I should in school, because I'm disinterested in the material I'm learning. If I don't care about the subject being taught, I can't comprehend the material, as I see it as information that's useless and that I'll never use in my life.

If I don't know what to do at the end of high school, I've been telling myself that I'll enlist in the U.S. Navy, but I don't know if that's the right thing for me. I may only be saying this because my dad was in the Navy, and I don't know what else I'll do. I currently have no money to my name, and I'm unable to get a job until I get my license, as my parents are divorced and I can't guaranty a solid work schedule until I get my license.

It's hard for me to do anything with others, because my interests are always different than most others. There's no people that listen to the same music as me, play the same games as me, or have the same interests as me. This is compounded with the fact that I get easily agitated at people who don't know something that I perceive as simple, so it makes me seem like a pissy person.

I've always looked at myself as "Everyone's Favorite Random", as I do so many different things, but I'm not amazing at anything. I'm good at rhythm games, good at hockey, good at laser tag, but not amazing at any one particular thing. Since I do so much different stuff, it's hard for me to become comittted to improving at any one thing. For example, I've been telling myself for 3 years that I'm going to learn how to play the guitar. Since then, I have made 0 progress whatsoever.

Another thing about me is that I've always thought of these great ideas, such as starting a business, but I know that the chances of something like this actually succeeding are microscopic. Another thing I've always wanted to go into is coaching either a hockey or football team, but much like starting a business, the chance of this happening bid so slim it doesn't even matter.

I guess what I'm trying to ask, is what should I do to make something out of my life? I've tried soul searching for the answer, but I can't think of anything. This is how I've honestly felt since I was 12 and I had to stop playing hockey because the cost of it was too much. Hockey used to be my passion, and the past few months I've been wishing I could go back to playing, but even with that, I know I wouldn't have any success in that.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if this comes off as attention whorish (it does to me at least), but I have no idea what to do with how my life is right now.

blindreper1179 11-30-2015 07:23 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
What school did you go to that one of the hardest in the nation? Everything around here is subpar at best. And OU ride isn't an amazing feat like you make it seem. I know a few that got one. It's just the dedication put into it to receive it, that's the hard part. Feeling low, you have to put your foot into something and stick with it. When I was depressed I started dancing, it's free and relatively easy to learn because there's tons of tutorials on the internet. I did it everyday despite the lack of motivation. It really helped with the guilt of everything else in my life.

Hope that helps.

Deadlyx39 11-30-2015 08:31 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by blindreper1179 (Post 4379760)
What school did you go to that one of the hardest in the nation? Everything around here is subpar at best. And OU ride isn't an amazing feat like you make it seem. I know a few that got one. It's just the dedication put into it to receive it, that's the hard part. Feeling low, you have to put your foot into something and stick with it. When I was depressed I started dancing, it's free and relatively easy to learn because there's tons of tutorials on the internet. I did it everyday despite the lack of motivation. It really helped with the guilt of everything else in my life.

Hope that helps.

It's not nessecarially depression, just confused on what to do. The OU full ride is more because I'm compared to my sister a lot. Although I personally believe she's wasting her time with her major (gender studies) but that's besides the point.
I went to the International Academy of Macomb. Hated the place and only went because my sister went there. I just want to do something that actually makes me happy to do every day. Not bitch about a video game not going my way.

MinaciousGrace 11-30-2015 08:34 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
you should have put this in chit chat to get all the idiots who want to fling feel good life is great hang in there posts at each other

but you put it in critical thinking

and given all the evidence you have presented us thus far the logical conclusion is that you're just incapable of being productive in any capacity

deal with it

Deadlyx39 11-30-2015 08:55 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MinaciousGrace (Post 4379763)
you should have put this in chit chat to get all the idiots who want to fling feel good life is great hang in there posts at each other

but you put it in critical thinking

and given all the evidence you have presented us thus far the logical conclusion is that you're just incapable of being productive in any capacity

deal with it

But it's in the Homework & Help sub forum. But thank you for your gracious response.

goosedude 11-30-2015 09:08 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
you're 16, just try to stay focused and you'll get through it

blindreper1179 11-30-2015 09:41 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadlyx39 (Post 4379761)
It's not nessecarially depression, just confused on what to do. The OU full ride is more because I'm compared to my sister a lot. Although I personally believe she's wasting her time with her major (gender studies) but that's besides the point.
I went to the International Academy of Macomb. Hated the place and only went because my sister went there. I just want to do something that actually makes me happy to do every day. Not bitch about a video game not going my way.

Hmmm, never heard of the place. Don't let comparing get you down, two different people, two different stories to tell. I was always compared to my step brother by my dad and it got to me at first, but I got over it. School sucks and nothing in it will make you happy unless your into after school activities. Just slide through school, that's what I did. Pass it and leave it.

Hakulyte 11-30-2015 09:43 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
1. Finish high school. It will increase your chances to find work.
2.a) Inform yourself of what kind of work is available around where you live and take decisions based on that. (Plan A)
2.b) Check out what majors you can take in case you would continue studying in a field that you actually care more about. (Plan B)
3. Get a driving license when you can, but only get the car when you will really need it. @ work (unless it's super close?)

Why do you think you're not paying attention as much as you may have before?
Why are you not motivated as much anymore?
Is there something you can do to help yourself keep interest?
Of course, most of the things you're learning will not be very useful in the end, but the experience, the wisdom gained, the opportunity to be in an environment with the rest of society and doing assignments to challenge yourself are all very helpful things to help you develop yourself as a person. If you're still not sure of what you want, you may as well keep absorbing this "random general knowledge" for the sake of graduating and having an easier time in interviews for work etc. It benefits no matter what you do.
Also, you shouldn't compare yourself to your sister or even anyone. You should focus on finding what matters for yourself.

Deadlyx39 11-30-2015 10:58 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hakulyte (Post 4379769)
1. Finish high school. It will increase your chances to find work.
2.a) Inform yourself of what kind of work is available around where you live and take decisions based on that. (Plan A)
2.b) Check out what majors you can take in case you would continue studying in a field that you actually care more about. (Plan B)
3. Get a driving license when you can, but only get the car when you will really need it. @ work (unless it's super close?)

Why do you think you're not paying attention as much as you may have before?
Why are you not motivated as much anymore?
Is there something you can do to help yourself keep interest?
Of course, most of the things you're learning will not be very useful in the end, but the experience, the wisdom gained, the opportunity to be in an environment with the rest of society and doing assignments to challenge yourself are all very helpful things to help you develop yourself as a person. If you're still not sure of what you want, you may as well keep absorbing this "random general knowledge" for the sake of graduating and having an easier time in interviews for work etc. It benefits no matter what you do.
Also, you shouldn't compare yourself to your sister or even anyone. You should focus on finding what matters for yourself.

I never have paid attention in school. Other than my government class, I bullshit my way through most of it. I BS'd an entire English project and the teacher gave me a 100%, so I guess I'm doing something right. Nothing really keeps me interested in school (ever wonder why so many of my posts are during school hours?). I need to be interested in a topic to genuinely care about it. My problem doesn't lie on if I should drop from high school, but more about what I can do to change my life before I get out of high school. I've been doing the same thing every day since I stopped playing hockey, and it's gotten old as of late. I would try to get back into hockey, but getting new goalie equipment is expensive, and the chances of me making a team after being out of the game for 4 years is very improbable. The whole getting compared to my sister thing started when I was in 8th grade. I was forced to take the entry test to the school I initially went to, and when I passed it and got accepted, my mom forced me to go to the school. If my sister had never gone to the school, my mom wouldn't have this idea that I need to be like my sister. While she never says it, I know that's what she means.

EDIT: If any of you care, the website to that school is here.

Funnygurl555 11-30-2015 12:40 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
hey man, try to at least get some degree after hs too. hs degrees won't carry you for too long, and that's getting even more true as time goes on

if you're unsure what you want to do now though you can always take a break and get back to that later

ps anyone can get into college you'll just need the motivation once you get in it and before you go if you decide to do that make sure it's something you'll be motivated to finish

Charu 11-30-2015 01:04 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
Sounds like you got a problem. ~Shulk

...

But in all seriousness, I know the feeling your going through because I've felt it throughout my late teen years. I was always paranoid about life choices because schools/parents/peopleofimportance really drill it in that you will suck at life if you don't continue school.

They're kind of right, though. If you don't keep going, you're not going to get a job that will be able to pay living expenses. If you're planning to live alone that is. From the sounds of it, you probably just don't know what you want to do yet.

That's okay.

You're in Macomb, right? Fortunately for you, Macomb Community College is a really good option if you're entirely unsure of what to do. It's been getting pricey over the years, but it's still the least expensive community college I've seen. If you're a Macomb resident like I was, you'll get a huge ass discount.

In fact...

Go to that college, sign up for financial aid, and boom, most likely you won't have to pay ONE CENT to attend. Spend a year or two there experimenting. The college has a lot of programs to choose from that can lead to some decent universities (if you truly wanna go a specific route).

...

As for me, well... I had a goal set, but then I kind of stopped because the next step would be to spend a lot of money. So... with that in mind, I started looking for dem jobs and found myself now working at the very library at the college I was going to.

Would love to have full time here though... grumble grumble...

Charu 11-30-2015 01:06 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Funnygurl555 (Post 4379777)
hey man, try to at least get some degree after hs too. hs degrees won't carry you for too long, and that's getting even more true as time goes on

And this is very true.

Like I said, go to the college, get a degree, and go from there. Employers would much rather they interview a college degree than a High School degree.

That's literally how I got my job, lmao.

_Zenith_ 11-30-2015 03:40 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadlyx39 (Post 4379771)
I never have paid attention in school. Other than my government class, I bullshit my way through most of it. I BS'd an entire English project and the teacher gave me a 100%, so I guess I'm doing something right. Nothing really keeps me interested in school (ever wonder why so many of my posts are during school hours?). I need to be interested in a topic to genuinely care about it. My problem doesn't lie on if I should drop from high school, but more about what I can do to change my life before I get out of high school. I've been doing the same thing every day since I stopped playing hockey, and it's gotten old as of late. I would try to get back into hockey, but getting new goalie equipment is expensive, and the chances of me making a team after being out of the game for 4 years is very improbable. The whole getting compared to my sister thing started when I was in 8th grade. I was forced to take the entry test to the school I initially went to, and when I passed it and got accepted, my mom forced me to go to the school. If my sister had never gone to the school, my mom wouldn't have this idea that I need to be like my sister. While she never says it, I know that's what she means.

EDIT: If any of you care, the website to that school is here.

I split this specific post into three sections to deal with the mindset behind this post. Yes, I read the OP, and to be honest I'd rather have a personal conversation with you about that because I was in the precise situation you were in.

Bolded is a terrible mindset to carry not only at a young age but in general. You not paying attention and claiming you bullshat your way through so far is a different problem than the problem you proposed in your OP. Why do you feel the need to not pay attention (you did say you have to be interested in a topic to be general attentive) and not put in the effort? It seems like the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" applies directly to this bolded statement because it seems like your natural ambition to learn is shot into the ground (this too is another issue on its own). The last sentence in bolded statement is evident proof of what I have stated being somewhat true.

Italic section is entirely a separate issue from trying to find your path in your life. You are self-admitting that you have no ambition to learn something new and that is legitimately shooting yourself in your foot. Why? I'd rather you answer me in private on my "Why" questionings because to me, it seems more deeper than what you put out in this forum. Another example of bad mindset is your statement of "...and the chances of me making a team after being out of the game for 4 years is very improbable.". If Hockey is one of the very few things that interests you, then you should have the natural ambition to actually play, improve, and try out for a team. Again, why? At this point, my mind points to you having some insecurity issues, and it could potentially be because of sibling comparisons.

Underlined is another separate issue that I stated directly above this clause. Your mother forcing something upon you is generally bad, but sibling comparison does have problems in general such as insecurities. It can help or hurt someone; usually the younger sibling, and you can still do something with your life beside this but at this point my best suggestion is to find ambition in what you do currently or something you want to do.

I do realize that the post I have quoted is in reply to Haku's post, but nevertheless the general point I'm trying to make still applies to you.

Kawaii025 11-30-2015 05:27 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
Just my thoughts...

I would suggest to attend a community college first to at least do your general studies prior to pursuing a bachelor's.

During the time at community college, volunteer with a youth football/hockey league as an assistant coach. It'll give you some valued experience when trying to get something full-time. Maybe you can go into KHP (Kinesiology & Health Promotions) afterwards?

Deadlyx39 12-1-2015 06:56 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
@Funnygrill I'm worried that if I take a break I won't want to go back to school. I have some older friends and family who said that's what they did and they never went back to school.

@Charu is MCC really that good of a community college? There's a guy in my government class that takes some classes there, but I never knew if it was a good place. Btw happy late birthday there friend.

@Zenith if you want we can talk about it on skype at some point. Just let me know when.

@Kawaii KHP sounds like something that might work, I'll look into it some more and I'll come back to that. I feel that since all I do is have ESPN on a continuous loop on my TV and how I love sports so much that coaching would be a great thing to do, especially considering how much knowledge I have of both hockey and football.

Multi-Quoting on my phone is near impossible so that's why it looks the way it does.

Charu 12-1-2015 08:59 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
I wanna say yes.

MCC has a bunch of programs that are designed to lead you into a decent university. Like Oakland or Wayne State. Hell, there's even some that lead to Michigan State or University of Michigan.

I wanna say, for how cheap tuition is here, you get a bargain with future employment options and schooling if you have the motivation to go in dept, dohoho.

Artic_counter 12-1-2015 08:00 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
I see two problems here:
-Inertia
-Self-consciousness

Like you said, you have been stuck in a routine for a while without a mean to get out. Combine that with what I perceive as a great deal of self-consciousness from your part - we all are during our teenage years mind you - and that nets you a vicious circle: you think too much without acting on it. Don't bother with the why or the how, chances are you won't find those answers through thinking. It's easier to feel it. Therefore try experimenting things. In short, try to fumble around in the dark based based on what you are currently feeling.

Spontaneity is key here. Have a sensible plan about what to do in life but other than that don't try to plan it.

You'll notice I'm being vague here and that's normal. I think the problem lies within your approach to life in general. By the way, I'm only speaking from experience so don't assume that whatever I say is an universal truth.

Cavernio 02-26-2016 11:34 AM

Re: What should I do?
 
I find it saddening but also relieving that all this advice about what to do to make oneself happy in life is about trying to fit people into society. It's not hard or fast or really have anything to do with the individual themselves; rather it all assumes that one's success in life is going to be measured by how high you will end up in the social structure. Because of that, all the advice is about how to motivate yourself towards things you clearly aren't actually motivated towards doing.

Red Blaster 02-26-2016 04:05 PM

Re: What should I do?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cavernio (Post 4411546)
I find it saddening but also relieving that all this advice about what to do to make oneself happy in life is about trying to fit people into society. It's not hard or fast or really have anything to do with the individual themselves; rather it all assumes that one's success in life is going to be measured by how high you will end up in the social structure. Because of that, all the advice is about how to motivate yourself towards things you clearly aren't actually motivated towards doing.

Preach


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