A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

There is definitely parts in here that can use some revising. I really don't know how to fix it though. So I am posting it here hoping that I will get some feedback on how I can improve it.:-)

Untitled

You are caught now, like a deer in headlights
You're stuck, you've been bound by your own fears.
You must break free or you will forever be condemned.

You can't say that a life isn't worth dying for,
And what if you gave it all and received nothing.
Would it really matter?

You've been waiting for this one day all your life,
it is nothing short of predictable that it is now presented.
But it is now that you must stop holding your head down,
You shant Give it up!
Get a hold of yourself now!
Or you might as well forget it all.

Can't you see, with each blow they become more powerless?
You must Dig deep within and find the courage to speak.
Are you really still bound by the fear?
Can't you speak or are you just doomed here?

You're there again, a deer in headlights.
You've given up.
To save your own life.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

thats pretty good :D i think its cool

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

wow good job :D. um for the poem title: how does "You shant give up" sound? i don't know, just a suggestion. hope that helps

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

thanks a lot for the reply (and the profile vote) and I think You Shant Give Up will do splendidly. Thanks very much =)

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Oh god, it's like every line has been taken from a song.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

cool :) I'm glad I helped in someway :D

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

But isn't poetry music?

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Staring Like a Deer Caught in the Headlight - Ariel Morris


Also poetry is not music. Smart one.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Like a deer in headlights is a very common simile.

And music that had lyrics started out as poetry with instruments! Smart one.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

True poetry is not music but music can be poetry

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

And she was thing that true poetry is music, which is wrong.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

I'm sure the problem wasn't that the lines sounded like they should be in a song, I think it's that they sound like they were taken out of songs that already came up with the lines.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Look, this arguement can go on for forever and a day. I would appreciate it if it could just be dropped. This is my work I'm sorry if everyone else would like to think other wise.

If you have comments that could improve the poem then please make them.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Why are "Give" and "Dig" capitalized? Are they important? If yes then why? If not then lowercase them.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

name it dicks

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

you could delete it

or write something that isn't stupidly cliche

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Half of this poem is from that Scary Kids Scaring Kids song. Learn to plagiarize.


You are caught now, like a deer in headlights
You're stuck, you've been bound by your own fears.
You must break free or you will forever be condemned.

You can't say that a life isn't worth dying for,
And what if you gave it all and received nothing.
Would it really matter?

You've been waiting for this one day all your life,
it is nothing short of predictable that it is now presented.
But it is now that you must stop holding your head down,
You shant Give it up!
Get a hold of yourself now!
Or you might as well forget it all.

Can't you see, with each blow they become more powerless?
You must Dig deep within and find the courage to speak.
Are you really still bound by the fear?
Can't you speak or are you just doomed here?

You're there again, a deer in headlights.
You've given up.
To save your own life.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

Hahahahahaha owned

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

What a lying bitch.

Re: A poem that I had no idea what to title
 

oh my god gamershadow lmfao