TWG XXIII: Assault on France! Victor E. to Humans!
 

We were attacked from the one place we weren’t suspecting it…

In the year 2020, America was enjoying a time of prosperity. The recent invention of the carbohydrate-driven car had destroyed both the outrageous gas prices, and the nations obesity problem. The inventor, Benn L. Jordan, is quoted as saying “It just came to me one day, Why not invent a way to make someone skinnier as they drive?” The only people not happy with this advancement was one Francis Fagouix Du Bois, CEO of Fagouix Enterprises. Makers of the finest French vehicals in all the world. But nobody really cared about him, I mean c’mon, “Fagouix”. What a stupid name. He must have been teased quite a bit in school.

Fagouix held a meeting with the managers of his company to figure out a resolution to this problem, as Americans were the only ones with enough money to throw around to buy their exquisite vehicles. The following is a transcript of that meeting:

F: HAY GUYZ WUT CAN W3 DO BOUT TIS?

E: i rly dont no. i think ill b in da corner cuttin myself 2 releev da pane if u need me.

F: LOL GO POST ON MYSPACE U LOSER

J: We could always convert to carb-burning cars, to stay in the market.

F: NOEZ! THAT WUD MAEK TOO MUCH SENSE!

J: Well, then we could attempt to invade America with an army bought with the massive amounts of funds you have stolen from orphanages over the years, before the new model hits the international market.

F: I LIKE ET! BUT WHO CUD DO IT?

J: Let’s use the one thing France has in abundancy, Mimes!

F: U SIR ARE A GENTELMAHN AN A SKOLAR! LETZ DO IT!

And so it was decided; the three spent the next four hours recruiting a force of mimes-for-hire off the streets of France. Once they had gathered four-hundred, they were sent off that day to invade America.

Unfortunately for us, back in 2006, George W. Bush had created the BESTFRENDS4LIEF Act, one when summarized equates to “Hay guys, no more army for us because we trust you guys.”

The Mimes landed in the Chesapeake bay and began the march toward the Capital. The entire nation cried out “O SHI"

This is where you come in. You are a group of volunteer militiamen with no training whatsoever. A few of you probably signed up only for the armed forces discount. A few for the free donuts. But regardless of why, you are all here now. You will be deployed as a unit on the shore of France, and must find some way to terminate Fagouix. The obstacles are these:

1. He knows you are coming.

2. The national guard of France (A shiatlode more Mimes o dam) Knows you are coming.

3. Four amongst you are actually Mimes. Talking Mimes. Without makeup. Ones who will brutally murder one of you each night until they are stopped.

Fortunately for you however, we have carefully recruited only siblings, and/or homosexual couples into this unit, so each of you knows someone who is definitely not a mime.

Your Boat leaves in 20 minutes, the door behind me leads to the dock. Good luck guys, and LOL.

So with that, they set out.

1. FishFishRevolution
2. Tasselfoot
3. nickadeemus
4. nforcer06164
5. dAnceguy117
6. mattc16
7. Kilgamayan
8. Afrobean
9. talisman
10. lightdarkness
11. Tps222
12. GuidoHunter
13. HansSky
14. QreepyBORIS
15. evilbutterfly
16. blahblah18

PMs are sent. If you didn't get one, let me know, Night 1 has begun. I need pms from Gaurd and Wolves

EDIT: Sticky plz kthx

Day 1

The group got up and looked around. All at once, they all thought, “Jeez, what an ugly group.” Not being a very active bunch, they made a halfhearted shuffle towards the door. Someone opened it. It was a dark night. And no one could see two feet in front of their faces. They clutched their partners hands tightly and walked bravely forward to face the task. The ship was a gigantic luxury cruise ship. Everyone said “Ooooooooh, Aaaaaaaah” as they approached. They walked up the lit deck, and found a suitcase with each of their names on it. On each one was a card, it said this:

“This is your briefcase, it contains your weaponry, several changes of clothes, and a few cds we had laying around the office. Oh, and a map of France. It was made from the best intel we have, that being said, our best intel was a crude map our top spy drew on his stomach with a sharpie.”

They opened the cases in the common area of the ship, and looked at their new possessions.

Tass: Dear Lord, MC Hammer?

Talis: Don’t complain, I got the best of William Hung

nforcer: Oooooh, he’s my favorite! GIVE!

Everyone eyed him oddly.

nforcer: What? He's a musical genius!

Evilbutterfly: lol noob

Fish: Ha! I got Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy.

Everyone eyed him enviously.

Hans: Guys, we have a long ride ahead of us, let's get some sleep. Who knows what we'll face tomorrow?

Qreepy: I think the guy said it was Mimes

Hans: It was a rhetorical question...

With only minor bickering, they eventually all got to their seperate cabins. And they all went to sleep, well, most of them anyway. mattc16 was just getting comfortable in his cabin when he heard a creaking in the hallway. He was a little spooked that he could hear it over his Queen cd, so he grabbed his handgun from the briefcase and slowly tip-toed towards the door. He opened it, and a gloved fist was the last thing he ever saw.

The next morning they found him hanging from what was probably an invisible rope. They couldn't be sure, since it was invisible and all, but he was kind of just hanging in midair.

Evilbutterfly: Fagouix! I guess he really does have agents on the ship.

Tps222: Well, four of us here are murdering scumbag mimes. We just don't know who.

Kilgamayan: We should take a vote, and execute the one with the most votes at the end of the day. We won't hit France 'till tomorrow anyway.

Everyone agreed it was the only course of action. So after a large breakfast, they sat around a table, and began the discussion.

Day 1 has began, it will last until 8pm EST on Saturday giving you roughly 48 hours. Good luck.

Who the hell is mattc16?

Hahahahahaha.

What the hell?

I did a French oral recitation on the Great Wall of France. It ruled.

But I'd consider killing Mattc to be more of a move to pin the blame on someone else. Either that or the wolves are just kind of stupid. Because I'd guess that mattc is not the most experienced dude in the game, so they can't have killed him for that. So the wolves are either new, have a grudge, or most likely they just want to confuse us by pinning the blame on one of mattc's buddies.

Or they went a step further and one of mattc's buddies killed him knowing that at least a few people would realize that it could be a pinning move in an effort to get out of being lynched.


Excuse me. I need more sleep. I promise to be more coherent and intelligent Saturday.

dumb to go for the jtwg player... whatever.

btw, in case anyone didn't get my pm or read it, basically I'm suggesting that if it has to be either the lone green or matt's partner to come out today, it should be the lone green, because it's possible (but REALLY farfetched, especially after my pm) for the wolves to kill one of their own and have the "partner" come out and form an alliance, find out who the guardian is, and kill him. (It's what I was going to do if I got wolf, but I didn't.)

I think the wolves consist of people who don't like playing with jTWG players.

Like Tass.

that wasn't overt at all.

but it would be hilarious if tass were a wolf and chardish revealed him while drunk with that post in his "drunk" topic.

Seriously though, nobody has answered my question. Who the hell was that kid? I must really not pay attention to the signups, because I don't remember ever seeing that name before.

And who are his buddies that might be killing him? o_O

PS: I hate mead. I told him to make me a wolf and he goes and makes me an only child. YOU SON OF A BITCH! D=<

Yeah, that's right. I'm coming out of the closet. The lonely, lonely, green closet. I mean really, what're the chances that I play this game figuring that I'd be special no matter what and it'd be more exciting, but instead I get stuck as the ONE green dude. I swear if Afro's all green game doesn't win I am not playing.

Game: Amended. Autopsy on Day 3 only. Day 5 autopsy would be instant death for the wolves. So in an effort to balance, I have made this change. Last. Change. Ever.

Nforcer my friend, you are a wolf. I assume EB is telling the truth, lying would just be flat out dumb. Regarding Matt, I assume confusion kill. Though, it should be power player, as the recent patterns of guards have been middle high. Silly wolves.

Any logic or reasoning there Ryan my friend?

don't complain eb... you get to be the center of the alliance and the most important human in the game, basically. If no one else today comes out as the lone green (which no one should unless the wolves are playing it ballsy or if eb is a wolf playing extra ballsy and getting in there first) then I'll come to you with my partner, etc. And everyone else should as well. Guardian guards you and all that jazz from the host voting thread.

Quick question guys:

What is the worst case scenario for everyone telling their pairs openly?

The wolves will have to give another wolf as their paired partner, so based on that, we may be able to decipher wolves that otherwise wouldn't be ID'd.

(22:11:39) Jay: did nforcer go to you as a green?
(22:11:41) Tps7910 <AUTO-REPLY> : Wolfing EB........
(22:11:52) Tps7910: No
(22:12:04) Tps7910: Why?
(22:12:10) Tps7910: Oh, my vote?
(22:12:10) Jay: Nforcer my friend, you are a wolf. I assume EB is telling the truth, lying would just be flat out dumb. Regarding Matt, I assume confusion kill. Though, it should be power player, as the recent patterns of guards have been middle high. Silly wolves.
(22:12:23) Tps7910: Oh, I felt like voting him

Afro: doing it publically reveals the guardian. Doing it privately to the lone green (eb) gets an alliance away from the wolves consisting of the lone wolf, the guardian, and the widowed (86% of the time). Plus, when the day 3 psychic report comes in, there are more goodies that should be fairly obvious.

And, damn you mead... I had that day 5 psychic report in there BECAUSE of what I knew it could do. *sighs*.

afro the downside is small but (IMO) significant.

if all the pairs come out, the wolves will be more likely to wolf one person from each pair, removing your ally, etc. This might happen anyway (just statistically speaking) but it's more likely to happen (duh) if the wolves know who the partners are. It's safer if only one person (eb) knows everything and then when he figures something out (especially after the autopsy) he reports it and we insta or whatever.

if eb goes down, the center of the alliance switches to someone who lost their partner or something. we should probably figure out a system for that contingency, so that there's always someone trustworthy to pass the alliance on to if the center goes down.

on tps... well, it's tps? I've confronted him a little about it. he's giving me the "gut instinct" line.

edit: oh whoops... good catch on the guardian part tass. I knew there was a better reason for everyone not coming out that I forgot.

Guys, I'm not doing another "TPS" plan again. Theres a point to all of this. I'm not staying on Nforcer the whole time, and I'm not confident he is a wolf. Gut instinct says yes, I feel like putting it out there. I couldn't care less if you believed me, what I do care, is how you react. I want to see who votes where, and who says what. Who fights one another, and who doesn't. This, in my mind, is the most logical way of finding wolves. Previous games, voting patterns have been significant, with the wolves always slipping in 3rd or 4th, making them look human. I want to see what and when the wolves will do what.

Oh yea, still staying with nForcer.

Ok, I was pretty sure there was something to not have people coming out. So, when are we going to accept eb as surely the real green?

Also note that it IS possible that night 1 kill was the lone green and eb knew that. Just throwing it out there. I don't necessarily believe it.

I was discussing this with TPS, after I yelled at him for being a douche in his retarded vote....

and my feeling regarding eb is this: 11/12 says the wolves DIDN'T kill the lone green. so faking it is down right retarded, considering its 50/50 on the lynch day 1 that they will live and the real one will die... and even if that happens, when day 3 rolls around and we see its 4 wolves, then they get the axe day 3. the Expected Value (EV from now on) is damn near zero. so, i'll come out and say it... i've told eb my pair already. then again, i was pushing this plan from the start, so it shouldn't be that big of a surprise.