Love- What is it?
 

This is my last Critical Thinking post before the cruise, enjoy,

Perhaps my greatest question aside from what the point of existing even is would be does love exist? Seriously think about it. Because I have a hard time believing it does. I'm extremely cynical by nature so I analyze everything and when I look at people I always think of motive before anything else. Like all these people who get married and divorce within the first year how they claim they fall out of love, I don't even think 90% of the world has a clue what love is. Most people have this magical perception of love being this thing that lasts forever. But when you look at it love really just falls into a few distinct catagories all of them are selfish. Love is convienent, love makes us feel good so we want it, love gives us social status, love usually increases our wealth, and basically when all of those things fails, when it no longer becomes convienent, when it makes us feel like crap instead of really good, when financial problems arise, well then the "love" has passed, time for a divorce.

It just seems like this is the basic principle that society as a whole follows. A divorce rate at 50% is absolutely pathetic. When I hear people say they are in love I just want to vomit up lunch. Sometimes I feel like saying something like oh would you be in love still if your signifigant other was just doused in gasoline and lit up like a tourch, I don't think so.

So in the beginning so called "love" is mostly physical attraction with a nice emotional complacency to it, then in the next step of love we jump into less physical attration and more convienent and financially pleasing. Most divorce is caused by financial difficulties so it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the way I see things is totally true.

So love the way most people see it isn't love at all. The meaning of the word love is rarely if ever seen in any human. Alot of people will make a case of well dying for someone you love is the ultimate sacrifice, but hey couldn't that be selfish too? What's easier to do, die for someone you care about or live the rest of your life knowing that you could have saved them but chose not too. So you are being selfish by making them live with your death on their hands the rest of their life while you get to die instead of vice-versa. Yes I know extremely cynical but at this point in my life I cannot trust any girl I date, infact I rarely date, my last long term relationship was 3 years ago. I cannot find this so called love that people claim exists when I am with a girl all I see are the things behind it. Relationships are so fragile a mear sentence can rip them apart. It's amazing to me how much emotion we put into things like that when it can be destroyed so easily. Could love really be destroyed that easily? I don't think so, I think love does exist, but none of us can have this love. It's a concept, like world peace, but it doesn't actually exist in our everyday lives and it never will. We only blind ourselves into thinking it does so we can feel comfortable and remove our worries and fears. I think that is where hope fits into love as well, because with each relationship that fails we "hope" the next one will be the one where we find "true love" even though true love is just a concept. Hope is basically denial on the highest form, hope is made of the things we deny that we absolutely refuse to believe are not true such as love. So we spend our lives endlessly searching for this thing we call love using our hope to continue on everytime we fail to find it. In the end I see no point in any of it. I cannot find a reason for anything. I have absolutely no desire to live the rest of my life. Everything in this world just seems so fake, it disgusts me, does anyone else feel this way?

Specforces

Re: Love- What is it?
 

You say "we" like you are doing it, along with everyone else in this world. If you believe so strongly that love doesn't exist, don't bother with it. There is no law requiring you to find love in your life, it's just a "normal" thing that society has made a big deal out of.

I can't give you a reason for anything in this world because I, too, believe that there is no point in anything. If I have kids, I'll soon be dead. They will soon be dead also. If they make a difference in the world, it won't matter because the Earth will NOT last forever. If we manage to travel elsewhere to start a new civilization, that will eventually be meaningless too. "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." If you manage to find a "love" in your life, big deal, you have accomplished nothing, as you will soon be dead. There is nothing to live for in the long run, other than death. The only point I can find in life is to do stuff that will temporarily appease your body and mind, don't let worries or the need to find "love" stop you from being happy. Life is a lot better when you are happy, so anything that bothers you now, just let it go because it doesn't matter.

In general, you have a good grasp on what "love" really is, and I would agree with you on a lot of what you said. Relationships are quite fragile.

As your post continued, you got a little too personal, and you were a bit more radical; the last few sentences in particular.

Although what nickaademus said was insanely cynical, he has a major point: don't let anything bother you because it doesn't matter, life is about happiness. I believe that is enough to make it so it doesn't even MATTER that life only means death. If you are happy, who cares that you will die? Who cares if it has no true effect as long as you are happy. There's a reason we have religion and a heaven.

Back to Spec's thread, I have seen love. What you mention is not love but lust and greed and petty desires. Love is the bond between two people that is so strong that they cannot be seperated by poverty nor pain. The only thing that can shake a bond like love is when one of the people is changed greatly for the worse (drug addiction, alcoholism, etc.), and even then most bonds are not broken. Love is a connection between two people that is so deep and powerful that they cannot be seperated. It has nothing to do with physical attraction or greed, it has to do with finding a partner who so matches you that you are inseperable. Love is the intertwining of two people's souls, the connecting of the true essences of who they are. I have seen it happen often, but rarely is it seen in those petty relationships that depend on a single sentence or that are done out of physical attraction. Love can only happen when you find the right person. It may never happen for you. Mostly, dating is the search or physical attraction and short-term relationships to keep people feeling like they have found love when they have not. The proof of love is when you see a couple that is 90 years old and they are totally happy with each other, even if they have nearly nothing else in the world. Love is what makes old age the hope of many. The bond of love should last even when one of the two is dead. Possibly even when both are dead.

If you listened to all that, good job.

Hmm... should i bother getting into this? I guess so... personally... i feel like love is the meaning of life... or the best description of it... find your soulmate... and strive to be completely happy. Love to me is when you find the "prefect imperfection," that being out there that becomes your entire life focus. Sure... some say love is blind... and it sure as hell is. Im not sure if anyone can have proof that they are in love... but as far as they know... its fact. Love is the completion of soul... not just an intertwining, its like a covalent bond of souls :D sharing parts of each other souls with the other to make both of you whole. I see it as the ultimate emotion...

And before you ask... I feel like I've found it, personally. Which I get more crap for than I can explain... but honestly i dont give a damn. I think everyone is capable of love, and many will find it. And if my "significant other was doused in gasoline and lit ablaze..." yes... I'd still love them. And could never imagine sharing the feeling for anyone else in life. When my love fades, as will my life. Because they are inter-dependant.

Other than that... i can't explain anything but my own personal experience.

Only self-pitying people would rather be dead than live without their loved one.

Love is about connecting with someone else, not just base physical attraction. Love is never fragile - if what you have is fragile, it's not love.

Fragile and LOVE do not go together, definately. I don't consider it self-pity... just a loss of the meaning of life... hence the end of it.

Simply put, love is the greatest of gifts and the cruelest of curses, all rolled in to one nice little package. It is the beginning of too few lives and the ending of too many. Love is also, in my opinion, the single, most misinterpreted thing on earth, often having lust being mistaken for it.

I was pissed when I wrote this, I'm not depressed.

Specforces

Entirely understandable. We've probably all been there. Hope you feel better now though.

<3

Love may not exist, but according to Einstein, it exists and it doesn't exist at the same time! So it exists!

Ok anyway, yes, I believe in love. I believe in "the one(s)" and "soul mates". But I don't believe there's a high chance of ever meeting that person. Go to a chatroom, randomly pick a chatter. Exit the chatroom, and calculate the chances of you two ever bumping into eachother in real life. Really low chances there.

I had/have (blah) a philosophy that our purpose in life is purpose. That we feed off a purpose, finish it, and find another one. Even if we can't find one, looking for one is still a purpose. This is what love seems to really impress me with; because true love isn't like that. You find the one person you love, and you stick with that person, and you don't mind doing it. You don't go look for a different girl/guy.

love is when two people care alot for the eachother's well being, and feel a connection with them.

Spec do you love your mother?

Love is a emotional reaction to a biological neccessity.

Yeah, you guessed it, I'm a romantic.

Yeah Yeah, Love, whatever, I was pissed when I wrote that, don't take it literally, maybe I should have just listened to some Linkin Park.

Specforces

PS. I hate Linkin Park

were you pissed when u made your new sig? no offense. but u went from some nice complicated one, to some soldier screwed in the desert, to some kind of bat-skull-terminator devil surounded by explosions of poison. quite different from the cute little chibi specforces in your av.

PS. Linkin park sux.

(What is love baby don't hurt me,dont hurt me no more )

Love that song :P


Anyways... Love - What is it? I don't have the slightest clue :)

Hahahaha Robby, I was actually thinking of the Haddaway song when I read the topic name.

:D Good times...

Night at the Roxbury ( one of the greatest movies )

SNL skits fo ever baby.

Jam, I don't know about you, but i believe that loving your mother/father/brother/sister/family, is completely different from being in love with your spouse/fiance. You don't love them the same way as you love your spouse. I can't explain it exactly, but its a different kind of love.

And with what someone was saying up there, i forget who, but we do what makes us happy in life, right? Well for most people its love. Most people find happiness in love. Sure you find all kinds of little distractions and what not, but really you're still on the hunt for the "big happiness". The kind that lasts for ever. And that comes with true love. Until you find that, you're not truly happy, at least that's what i think.

By the way, that was me who posted as the guest, i'm a dumbass. :P

Whoever you are "Guest" you make a very logical and reasonably and true point.

Yeah, i think i did too. Also, I just cannot comprehend how anyone could live there live's like nick and spec, and whoever else that thinks everything is just pointless. Answer that.

Ya great response post Dan,that was good. It's true though,the love is based on completely different matters when it's your fiance wife or whatever. You don't have sex with your parents (hopefull) and get that real closeness and attraction and good feeling. When it's parents its more that family warm love you know im there for you always kind of thing.

if its the beginning of too few lives...then why is there the idea of intercourse? i mean its supposed to show the love between ppl... so it should start many lives and many generations... but what spec said...im not sure how to interpret it... because...to me...love is something...almost unheard of... even though im in love with my gf...when i think about it...love maybe doesnt really exist... because sometimes you get mad at loved ones and you hate them for a long or brief period of time... then you will just go back to them. its not even found as the true version of love... because you find true love that you marry and stuff... and as what spec said... it might end in divorce...so its not really a love... but what he said about dying for your loved ones... its something like saying... I care and love them so much...id rather let them be happy and knowing they are happy... i am too. thats what i think about it anyways. dying for another is something that takes a lot of courage and a lot of love too... even though the actual love thing doesnt exist (maybe...)

Love is the dilusion that one woman is different from another.


OH SNAP RADIO JOKE.

all women are different, there's the truly psycho ones, and the truly good ones, both are hard to find, you usually get one in the middle, or closer to the psycho side, lol.

i didnt read all of everything everybody said (i didnt even finish the 1st post) so i'm just gonna state my feelings on the subject:

i think alot of people see love now as some glamourous thing like the original poster said. they think it's something they can indulge in, and false love abounds. most people see this false love as real, and dont realize how stupid they are being.

true love is caring more about someone else's happiness than your own. true love is wanting to take every single bit of pain and suffering onto your shoulders so the one you love wont suffer. i believe alot of marriages fail b/cs at least one person in the relationship does this and becomes overburdened and feels overwhelmed by their lover's problems, and then they cant take it and end it.

the perfect match would be 2 people who love each other, and truely want to stop the other's suffering, but realize that neither can bear it alone, that they must share the pain and joy alike. they must work as a whole. thus phrases like "you complete me." love is finding that person who you care for more than even yourself, and then realizing that you cant do anything else alone, that you NEED them.

that's love, and it's tough to love some1 and need them that bad when they dont feel the same way. when you miss them so bad you can just sit and cry thinking about the good times u once had with them. when you can love them enuf to let them go, just so they are happy with some1 else. that's love.

(3 guesses how old i am. i bet no1 gets it)

no one cares how old you are, and if you didn't even bother to read Specs fantastic post who's gonna read your's - almost as long.

Spec, I can't beleive I only just read your post, but, despite that you were pissed when you wrote it, but I agree entirely with it. I can't really say much more. If you think of how evolution works, love is not what it is portrayed to be.

oh and here are my guesses to how old you are. I get three right?
10?
9?
8?

if you just read his then why did you guess on the age?


I say...oh...
16
23
18

im soo off... =p

I didn't mean that I only read his post, I meant that I had just read his post for the first time. Learn to comprehend english.

I was about 11 when I learnt what true love was. Since then, I've gotten a lot of respect for it.

So you're basically saying we should just ignore instead of try to fix all of our problems in order to be happy? I agree that happiness is a big part of life... but I don't think just saying "f.u.c.k it, it won't matter once I'm dead anyways" can bring about happiness. The world would be alot shittier if a majority of people used that reasoning...

We attain happiness by satisfying our "needs" and desires. I agree that love does not necessarily have to be found... it is not a necessity, but it is a desire for many. To deny that desire is to deny the chance at greater happiness. You should not feel that you have done something wrong if you cannot find it, but you should not stop looking if it is what you want.

I also disagree with "If you manage to find a "love" in your life, big deal, you have accomplished nothing, as you will soon be dead." If this is true, then what defines an accomplishment? The word "accomplishment" would be non-existant because what you're saying is that nothing is an accomplishment because in the end we're all screwed anyways.
If you see your life as a waiting period for your death then you're obviously not happy with life... but your advice was to ignore the things that bother you instead of trying to fix them in order to make you happy. Did you not take your own advice? If that's the case then your advice obviously isn't very good...

I think the first post was pretty stupid as you rambled on with way too much text about something, Love is just a much stronger version of like and it was warped to different shit, enough said =\

[sarcasm]Thank you for your invaluable input Arch0wl. It was quite enthralling, your handle on diction was stunning, I wish I had the competence you do.[/sarcasm]

Your definition is flawed, however, mostly because your lack of proof and discussion. You merely said that my arguement was

"pretty stupid"

One tip: don't try debate, not your thing.

Try looking up words in a thesarus too, it might help you look smarter. And that is enough said.

P.S. Middle school loves you.

Specforces

ooh...surv'd

so i guess.....

its on.

It's on eh?

Specforces

Why are you people all trying to give definitions and boundaries to what 'love' is? Love is not limited by just one aspect, you can have love between two beings or the love of a peticular food/item. In my opinion, love is just a term used to describe feelings we get...over what depends on the individual, and i didnt completely define love either for i am one person and have experienced one person's viewpoint for all my life-me. Maybe some people will have an entirely different view on the concept of love as you so accept it and move on. Realize that maybe they experienced the feeling of love at one point in their life but when you were in the same situation you felt nothing. This whole subject is very hard to write about, mainly because we will never experience everything that brings us love.

Be it love for family, friends, a spouse, or just a love for life, love has no boundaries and trying to give it a concrete definition is impossible.

evilbutterfly is 13! I think.

Oh, and about love - I'd say that I'm currently in love, so maybe I'm biased, but I think you can't define love. You can, however, say that love is NOT what most people think it is, the people who get divorces for financial reasons after saying they're in love, etc.. shame on them.

In my humble 18-year-old opinion....(I just thought I would throw my age in there just in case someone wants to know.....there seems to be quite the debate over age in here.) =) I think that themanwithsauce has a point...love doesn't have boundaries or limits, and I don't think we have the power to try and explain it...it is a feeling, a feeling that is different for everyone. There isn't a right or wrong in this situation. I will be the first one to say I am all for love. I am not a romantic, by any means, in fact, I have trouble keeping down meals when guys go off on mushy tangents. I do, however, believe very strongly in love, and the power of love. I don't believe that telling your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or partner that you love them everyday is a necessary thing, nor do I think that gifts, compliments or things of that nature are esstential to a loving relationship. Love is what you make it...and what it means to you, and only you, and I don't think there is a one here who can define it.

and that was me....forgot to log in....heh...I will just run along and play now.

In my humble 14 year old opinion, love is becoming more and more of a commercial selling point. Valentines and sweetest day are both just stupid reasons for people to go to hallmark and buy things. We need to focus on enjoying the other person for being who they are. i'm not saying never buy anything for anyone just make sure that what you give your special someone says "I love you for you".

And Lifetime Channel needs to die for their description of love is rape.