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Ice Cold Haterade
FFR Player
FFR Rank:18,223
FFR Average Rank:18,321
FFR Grandtotal Rank:26,619
FFR Grandtotal:375,652,720
FFR Games Played:725
Gender:Male
Last Activity:03-15-2009
Forum Posts:3
Member for: 17.16 years
Profile Views: 1,909
Profile Votes:15
Referred Users: 2
Ice Cold Haterade's Gameplay Stats Today
Ice Cold Haterade's Gameplay Stats Today
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0000000000
AAAs
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Ice Cold Haterade's Details
About me:
I'm a British person who spends all of his off-work time smoking weed and playing video games. Oh, and making scrubs feel unwanted.
Interests:
Weed. Video Games. MTG.
Homepage:
http://s8.invisionfree.com/icecoldhaterade
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Random Thoughts
Been a minute...
Posted on: May 7, 2008, at 06:47:53pm   [0 comments]
I appologize... it's been, what? A year since I've satiated the palets of my adoring Haterade fans.

I promise that real soon... like... REAL soon... I'll be a super active member of this beloved community again.

Don't run away...
Posted on: July 31, 2007, at 04:11:53pm   [0 comments]
There are a million things that could come back later to bite you in the ass. And the chances are invariably stacked against you that at least half of those million things WILL bite you in the ass no matter what you do or how far you run away from them.

And there's absolutely nothing that could ever change that. Call it fate, if you're inclined to believe in such a thing, or whatever you want to.

There is only one constant: You are in control of your destiny. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

I know this because I've taken a minute to step back and observe my own life at a distance. It's simple, really.

I'm not too much a believer in Karma. But the things that bite you on your balloon knot are a derivitive or direct result of how you shaped your own destiny.

Almost five months ago... I sealed my destiny in what was one of the most crippling events in my entire life. And I ran away from the one person in the entire world that made the situation and my life seem worthwhile.

And now, that person is so hurt that she won't talk to me anymore. And all because I felt the need, perhaps pride, to face things on my own... and ran away from the one person who ever truly loved me for fear of dragging her into my own little abyss.

If you learn anything from this... learn from my mistake. Call me a loser for it, even. I deserve it.

But I'd be a bigger loser if I didn't learn anything from it at all.

To my adoring fans,

Jack

Secks and the Male Brain
Posted on: July 31, 2007, at 01:50:40am   [0 comments]
This is the topic that kicked off the 1up.com club of the same name as the forums. It's also been viewed by hundreds of readers on 3 publications and a cajillion blogs.

And now, without further adu:

The Best Damned Sexual Editorial Ever Written:

Someone once asked me, "Why are guys so quiet in bed." And while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer.

Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to be generally the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.

Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.

Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:


"Alright, time for some action"
"I hope I don't fuck up this time"
"Is that the right hole?"
"Oh wait, there it is"
"All right, lets start out slow"

It isn't long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.

BRAIN: "Damn, she just moved."
BRAIN: "Did I do something right, or did I hurt her"
<soft moaning starts>
BRAIN: "She's making noises!"
BRAIN: "Pain noises or pleasure noises?"
BRAIN: "Let try stepping up the pace a little"
<increased moaning"
BRAIN: "More noises, I pretty sure that's pleasure now"
BRAIN: "Oh yeah, she's starting to flush, I like that"
BRAIN: "Lets try changing the angle a bit"
.............................
BRAIN: "Nope, didn't like that"
<Moans quieting>
BRAIN: "Damn, what was I doing before?"
BRAIN: "Fuck it, lets try a different position"
WOMAN: "OUCH!"
BRAIN: "Yeah....that one was definitely pain>
WOMAN: "What are you doing?"
BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!"
BRAIN: "Open flaps"
BRAIN: "Landing gear engaged"
BRAIN: "Disengage primary thrusters"
BRAIN: "Systems check"
ME: "You allright?"
WOMAN: "Uh....Yeah"
BRAIN: "No system damage"
ME: "Allright, lets try this again"

—five minutes later....computer pretty much takes over—
BRAIN: "Allright, back on track"
<Moans increasing in volume and frequency>
BRAIN: "Target in sight, hold position"
<Full body blush commencing>
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
<Back arching>
BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....."
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: "Oh shit"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!"
<Moaning above 80 decibals>
BRAIN: "Just a little longer"
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
BRAIN: "Pull out and prepare for manual override"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "Pull out, pull out"
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!"
COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED....TARGET LOCKED
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
COMPUTER: <Target heart rate reached>
COMPUTER: <Breathing nominal>
BRAIN: "Must....hold....on"
COMPUTER: <FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING>
BRAIN: "can't.....hold it"
COMPUTER: <FEMALE ORGASM COMMENCING>
BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now"
COMPUTER: "PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING"
<keeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrr SPLAT!>
COMPUTER: "AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING"
<THUD>
WOMAN: "Honey, are you alright?"
ME: Yeah.....my head hurts...."
WOMAN: "Sorry" <blush>
ME: No, the other head"
WOMAN: "What?"
ME: Nothing"
ME: Did you cum"
WOMAN: "What, you didn't notice"
ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice"
WOMAN: "You're so weird"
ME: You should try being the pilot next time"
WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee"

Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he's feeling"
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.

Ladies, please!!!
Posted on: July 31, 2007, at 01:28:51am   [0 comments]
Why is it that women can't just take a bloody compliment, eh?

I'll give you the situation:

A few times, I'm minding my own business when I spy a bird so beautiful or unique that I am compelled to grow the bloomin balls to say something to her.

A bloody compliment. No harm meant, no ulterior motive... not that I'd mind if she would date a bloke like me.

Anyhow ladies, you act weird. Something like...

"OMG YOU SAID I LOOK NICE!!! TAKE TEH PEPPERSPRAY 0f PWNx0RS!!!1!!eleven!

Don't you think it'd be nice if a complete stranger simply said something nice about you? In all seriousness...

I'm not a bad looking bloke. I'm relatively in shape, no scars or tattos, no evil eyes, no creepy demeanor... I just want to give a bloody compliment.

*sigh*

OK. Enough rant for today.

Comment wall
Catasexuality writes...
at 9:44:12pm on 11/22/08
I miss you still!
Catasexuality writes...
at 12:20:50am on 10/5/07
I miss you, come back. :(
Catasexuality writes...
at 12:05:55pm on 8/15/07
oh and your never online anymore. :(
Catasexuality writes...
at 12:04:22pm on 8/15/07
-__- I despise that picture but everyone likes it. =S


That honestly is tTHE ONLY full faced pictured like that I own. xD
Catasexuality writes...
at 10:23:54am on 8/1/07
woo for being your #1 fan girl. x]
Catasexuality writes...
at 10:16:19am on 8/1/07
Heyy do you have AIM or MSN?
Crazy_hyper writes...
at 10:10:17am on 8/1/07
Hey!
Nice profile
Thumbs up from me!
burtonfanxx writes...
at 4:14:52pm on 7/31/07
Weeds bad.
Naughty naughty
Catasexuality writes...
at 1:28:07pm on 7/31/07
Yeah! We totally should. =D
D.J. Cristo writes...
at 2:36:16am on 7/31/07
no problem with that at all, my friend. ;D
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