I BURNED MY GIRLFRIENDSS COOTER

[Afrobean]

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, pluss ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So i gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scarred.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guyz are relly smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?

[Jagx]

Please say your making this up...

[FishFishRevolution]

Posting in a Legendary Thread.

[Omeganitros]

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[FishFishRevolution]

PS, i'd give her Rampage World Tour, that game sucked.

PPS 15, good age.

[lightdarkness]

I almost believed part of it

seriously

You 22?

nothx

[tnyhwk900]

This is probably the coolest thing Afro has ever said. Seriously, I thought you were a huge idiot until now.

Awesome.

[stlunatic0124]

rofl.

[Jagx]

Oh yea.


Pics please

[Anuj]

this is funny

<3 Afro

[HansSky]

Seriously.

Awesome.

[Tps222]

Haha, I thought it was serious until the age came up.

If this is original, you, my friend, are truely awesome.

[JurseyRider734]

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

[Spazzbite]

Yum, butter.

From the sounds of it, it's probably something from GroupHug.

[Cj_leonine]

I almost believed it. Even about the video games. then you said you put the butter in a glass and i knew you were lying.

But just in case you're not . . .

send us a pic but make sure you mouse-draw it in MS paint.

BTW damn you are waaaaaaay to old to be livin' wif yo parents.

[JurseyRider734]

Nah man I read it a while ago on some website. By the way Afro, better come out and confess you didn't really write it because I know I read it ;)

[QreepyBORIS]

You're the man now, Afro.

[JurseyRider734]

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

[Snapps]

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

I stopped believing right when you said you asked her about having sex.

AH HUH AFRO.

Location: PUCKER UP!

Lol I bet you want to **** her up.

[QreepyBORIS]

Jurs, did you not realize that I referenced where Afro got it from? :P

You're pitiful.

[djshox]

Yum, butter.

From the sounds of it, it's probably something from GroupHug.

Not just any butter, ****butter. Slather some ****butter all over dat steamin' ****fish.

[ravenhexa]

My boyfriend read me that from another forum a long time ago.

Btw, an n64 game would TOTALLY shut me up.

[Eyoshi]

Didn't I see the same thing written somewhere else?
(LOL, that YTMND was funny...)

Very funny, Afrobean. Although I knew it was from seomewhere else.

[Lain_Iwakura]

posting in a ****ty legendary thread that has content older than the internet

[Anuj]

i just went to bash.org and started giggling over quotes

yes i giggled

stfu

[Linkisdoomed]

I almost died laughing at this.

-Link

[banditcom]

It's from The Vestibule, a board on IGN. Please note: Cuz i heard you guys on the vesti saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit properly.

Take the Garbage Bin multiplied by 500 and you have the Vestibule (it's actually more like 543).


On a side note, since this guy mentioned lubing up the girl's clit... Doing a girl "in teh clit" is an old joke from 4-4 1/2 years ago on the Sex, Health and Dating board on IGN. It's still brought up every now and then when it fits (wow, no pun intended.. rofl).

[Pumble]

It wouldn't be as funny if Afro said it was a quote from somewhere else.

Daaamn, that was hilarious. N64 game...

[Varia]

My subjects; We are all here today to see the world's finest athletes compete for prizes beyond imagine. What dangers and hardships that lay before them, even I do not know. Remember, keep your wits, and you'll have a greater chance of surviving!

Ladies and gentlemen, LET THE ****BUTTERING BEGIN!

[chickendude]

this was in the brag board too <_<
making fun of gaia iirc <_<

its not really funny, except for the N64 game part,
oh well *kills self*

[ddr_dude]

lmao One of the funniest things I have ever read. Had me going for a second.

[Burner03]

This was on another forum, i cant find the forum though, its a real story and the poor guy was that dumb.

[Afrobean]

I can't believe some of you thought I was for real even for a second.

#1: I don't type like that.

#2: Why would I publically call attention to such a problem? I'd probably just IM someone if I contacted someone at all. Honestly, if I got myself into that situation, I'd probably just apologize and request to keep it secret-like.

#3: This seems to be the only one you guys picked up on. I'm most definitely not 22 years old.

[Burner03]

Ive seen that before ;).

[FishFishRevolution]

Burner03 is now on my list.

[igotrhythm]

I'm really surprised that you all think Afro made this up.

It's from like bash.org or something.

All of you who thought it was funny really need to kill yourselves.

I couldn't help myself, Jurs. Forgive my weakness. :( And besides, as soon as I heard the part about the 22 years vs. 15 years, I thought it was fake, but it was still good material. Maybe I could make this into a comedy routine...

[Burner03]

Burner03 is now on my list.
Is that a good thing or bad thing?

[FishFishRevolution]

http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&p=443140&highlight=list#443140

http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&p=440162&highlight=list#440162

http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&p=443154&highlight=list#443154

[Burner03]

I am not on the list.

[FishFishRevolution]

You are now.

[180digi]

Im surprised Burner didnt make Fish's Death List sooner =/

[Sol_Solis]

Coming from someone like you...hey you coulda fooled me.

[FishFishRevolution]

It's a death-list, don't make up things.

It's just The List.

[evilbutterfly]

I can't believe some of you thought I was for real even for a second.

#1: I don't type like that.

#2: Why would I publically call attention to such a problem? I'd probably just IM someone if I contacted someone at all. Honestly, if I got myself into that situation, I'd probably just apologize and request to keep it secret-like.

#3: This seems to be the only one you guys picked up on. I'm most definitely not 22 years old.

#4:

I BURNED MY GIRLFRIENDSS COOTER

[msbrunnettemickey]

Whaaaat. I actually believed the part of "My girlfriend"

[iPatcH]

4chan/10

[Afrobean]

I can't believe some of you thought I was for real even for a second.

#1: I don't type like that.

#2: Why would I publically call attention to such a problem? I'd probably just IM someone if I contacted someone at all. Honestly, if I got myself into that situation, I'd probably just apologize and request to keep it secret-like.

#3: This seems to be the only one you guys picked up on. I'm most definitely not 22 years old.

#4:

I BURNED MY GIRLFRIENDSS COOTER
touché.