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CrackSmokingWarlock
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FFR Rank:54,575
FFR Average Rank:16,654
FFR Grandtotal Rank:276,150
FFR Grandtotal:19,179,015
FFR Games Played:25
FFR Player
CrackSmokingWarlock's Details
Gender:Nada
About me:
I'm a crack smoking warlock, i was summoned by the fucking black monster of Hakune of evil darkness flame. I smoke crack and snort cocaine to gain maor powers of ultimate super damage. i also escaped the labyrinth of evil by doing a lot of fucking drugs and then i fucked some wierd furry thing and then i escaped again. the sex was fucking amazing there was much groaning shlicky shlicks. but then some faggot named angel the majick unicorn monster fucker told me to stop being a super mega druglord of power ultimate damage. so i killed it with my super-mega-ultimate-badass-deathlord-demigod-ravager cock that was so damn hard that split that bitch in two like a goddamn saw gun. what you dont know what a fucking sawgun is? fuck off then you cuck. youre too much of a pussy to comprehend this shit. like ok this is getting really god damn fucking wierdo holy shit i need to stop doing drugs. AND THEN MY EYES TRIED TO SKULL FUCK MY BRAAAAIIIINNNN!!!!1 but thats ok cuz like i fucked my eyeballs with a stick and now i cant see even though im typing this massage because why not right? nah im so fucking powerful that like i dont even need eyes but i grew them back anyway cuz i need that shit seriuosly. in fact i have four of them and each one can see a different plane of fucking existance you havent seen shit until you see in 4 dimensions and beyond the void at the same time bitch. i need to see what drugs im doing to gain maor powers and to see what im fucking. speaking of which i havent fucked up enough fuckups today so im going to do that but im not gay seriously stop looking at me like that you sick fuck cunt shit dick. i mean i only use my raging hard massive drug cock to literally fuck the pain away. my dick is hard right now
Interests:
crack and every other fucked up ass drug cuz i need maor powers from it, im a lvl 666 of drug power overloard with stats that are super good. like all my stats are in the septillions and now also my lvl is like that evil number from santan or some shit i dont even know whatever i got super powerfulz. im like a goddamn magnum yo. my title is super-mega-ultimate-badass-deathlord-demigod-ravager of eternal damage. and now im going to add pillzzorz cuz damn that shit is good, makes potions look tame, and its compact so i can take like 20 at a time and not die somehow holy shit. i gained very damage from pillzorz and im not sure where im going with this. actually i do know where im going with this i just didnt think you feelbe ass mortals could actually follow it. fuckin dustling
Fav Music:
acid rock yo. and this other shit were it goes dooodaly dood daaa dooda doodaly doodaly doodaly doooo dakita dookita ding dong dangle doot.
Fav Movies:
i dont know honestly, i watched this one movie where this fucking guy fucked this bitch and then he turned into a zombie and his dick fell off and she the gurl did some things and she dies or something but it turns out that they had a kid somehow and then the sun turned fucking purple and the kid was like only half zombie with powers. then in act 2 i dont even remember cuz i fell the fuck asleep. then i watched another movie where a bed eats people by sucking them in some void made of yellow stuff, i think its digestive piss. anyway it came to be because a demon became the wind. i guess he was farted out of hell or something. anyway the wind possesd some bitch ass whore she grew a dick and fucked someother bitch ass whore, killing her in the process and then her soul was put in a tree and cut down to make the bed to end all beds or something fuck where the actual fuck am i going with this shit? so in the third act you see some asshat pretentious fuck in a painting monologeing about his shitty fucking surroundings and watches the bed eat people. anyway the point is watch shit while high as fuck.
Member for: 5.41 years
Gaming Region:USA - New England
Last Activity:01-12-2019
Forum Posts:2
Profile Views: 857
Profile Votes:24
CrackSmokingWarlock's Gameplay Stats Today
GamesTotalPerfsGoodsAvgsMissBoosAAAsFCsArrows
0000000000
AAAs
0 / 1950
FCs
5 / 1950
Tier Points
0 / 1500
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Random Thoughts
Posted on: April 29, 2014, at 05:31:20pm   [0 comments]
HOLY FUCK MAN MY EYES WANT TO FUCK MY BRAAAAIIIINNN!!!! anyway with that bullshit out of the way im going to racing thoughts in this bitch ass whore cuck. ok first off ive been bastermating a lot lately like 3-5 times a day and i just cant fucking help myself why do i keep doing that, i know its good and all but im afraid i might run out of cum so i cant create an army of super demons that get more powerfuller by doing drugs. i have like
100 terabytes of porn , you think im joking bitch? well fuck you first of all stop calling me a gay pedo sick fuck, just because i like cartoon dickgurls and that splatoon bitch doesnt mean im a sick fuck. for starters sick fucks actually hurt people, and before you try to make a case that im hurting your brain with this shit well too fucking bad youre reading it with your willpower. anyway i have a lot of porn. its funny because im a 33 year old virgin who can be assed to go outside anymore because i see peoples thoughts. like i see it in a bubble thingy and shit, thatss what you get for being a massively powerful mega druglord lvl 666 with a septillion points in fuckery. shit man i didnt think this would happen to me i didnt want to be a 33 year old
virgin fuck but like bitches dont like me and im not gay stop calling me gay goddamit. splatoon gurls are hot as fuck i dont care what the fuck you think you judgemental ass, i would totally ink dem bitches and get inked cuz they are squiddy squids. any way i cant even cant even even. hey did you know that i was that i was was was FIRST. im a huge nostalgia critic fan i was there since fucking TGWTG in 2008 like literally the first video . dood i watched all that shit every fucking episode. by far my favorate was garbage pail kids. i dont know what to say but goddamn, that movie was really bad i actually watched that thing and this was during a time when i thought the notsalgia cricket was just exaggerating. no man that movie really is that bad its so bad i cant remember it. this brings me back to a time when i would watch like hours and hours of shitty reviews made by shitty internet nobodys like nostuljai cucket. then i came myself across a blue moon sky and watched some more internet nobody stuff. like mr. plinkett. i fucking love mr. plinkett its the best shit ever you should watch it just google that shit its easy just watch its funny. ok so anyway i like cartoon gurls , one of my favorat
cartoon gurls was coco bandicoot, shes so fucking hot and i dont know why cuz shes not really human but just enough human that i would totally ink her. this all started with coco bandicoot, thats prolly why im a virgin. i just like cartoon girls and real girls arent cartoons. oh well anyway my background for my computer is etna from disgiea shes hot as fuck i would ink her too but not flonnna no i cant do flonna. shes the angel gurl, angel gurls dont fuck seriously stop telling me to fucke her stop. i fucking love pie filling, i go to the grocery store on occasion because food, but i also buy pie fillings and just eat that shit from the can. then i lvl up my sugar levels to 666 so i can drug my way to magical cartoon gurl land and then fuck myself and fuck the pain way so the voices in my head can stop screaming at me to fuck the cartoon gurls. one day 22 years ago i was running around the yard and i jumped off the porch for some dumb ass reason and cut my toe on a sharp ass fukcing rock. then i went inside and cried real loud and sat on the couch hoping mammy would hear me cry. she
was one the fone talking to some bitch i dont care to remember, and then i was screaming bloody fucking murder. like those actual words because i was bleeding dammit, in fact there was a nice little puddle of blood. and what did mammy say? ''shut the fuck up im on the fucking fone just put a goddam bandaid on that shit holy

hell'' then she said ''im sorry [bitch on the fone that i dont remember the name of, her name is supposed to go here] but my dumbass retard son dun fuckedup his stupid little baby toe and wont shush.'' i was pissed so i just let that shit fester until i got infected with some wierd disease shit, then i got sick real bad and had to go to the hospital and get that pinky toe amputated. so yeah that happend i think maybe, or it could be all
these visions and memorys i keep having, i blame my dergs. this really explains why i dont like my parents much , daddy was a boozer and didnt give a fuck. thats why he bought me an XBOX. he got sick of me wanting to have a relationship and stuff. the first game i had on that system was gauntlet dark legacy, was fun i liked the archer gurl thing, but there was a secret thingy you could do to make her into a fucking TIGRESS. wow mind blown now im a furry who wants to fuck cartoon gurls. actually it may have started even earlier before that, you see i always liekd dragons like really a lot for some reason. yes i have a thing for cute draggy drags. i spent like 1000 hours scouring das interwebs looking for cute draggy drags. it was a huge successs because now
i have 10,000 images of cutey cute draggy drags. and before you ask they are all gurls because i say so stop yelling at me dammit. hold on a sec let me do some drugs. ok back. now then what to do this time. i hate school i hated school when i was a kid because i was that wierdo freakoid kid that no one liked. whats real shitty about that is that mammy would tell me all the time ''nothing

is wrong with you, youre not a fucking retard like those actual fucking retards stop acting fucking wierd'' but something had to be wrong i never had a friend in school and i basically skirted through most of it with a D- average. like there was a time where i just stopped talking, this was in freshman year and my science teacher , name mister [redacted, because he might read this maybe] asked us what we did in summer vacation, and i told him that we the family that i belong to went to south jakota and went up a mountain that still had a bit of snow on it. i thought it was a good story but then some loudmouth fuckhead was like ''lol theres always snow on mountains retard''. he said that because i was suprised that there was still snow on the mountain when it was
july. so i just shut the fuck down. i didnt talk at all i just didnt care or wanted to participate at all i was done. i hated that fucking shithead for years, it was all building up for years. i just say the dumbest shit ever and i hate myself for it so i just thought, fuck it im done no talking done i quit. after a few months the teachers called my parents for a meeting to talk about my vow of silence. and mom was like ''theres nothing
wrong i swear hes normal hes just fucking with you''. so like i was an outcast for being wierd and the teachers knew something was legit wrong but like i was never diagnosed with anything and i fucked everything up with a D- average and barely passed anything. i told mammy, what the fuck is wrong with me everyone else seems to think so why do you keep saying im normal? she would just say ''youre not retarded'' whatever i hate my parents. i didnt graduate highschool and i was homeless for like 4 years until i was hospitiallized for being a crazy fuck. i see voices and hear visions so like when i tell people this they are like ''youre full of shit you just want that free ride in like you fuck'' but i seeked out help cuz i knew something was up. they told me i had a skitzofrenia of some kind and i was suprised that they would believe me because i imagined that a lot of people would just claim that to get off the streets even more so in the winter. wow this got fucking super serious lets cut that shit out shall we? after some more drugs i need a lvl up.
ok back, thats some good shit. so there i was in a body that wasnt mine in a black ugly void that i dont remember walking into and then all of a sudden 4 red fucking eyes just appear in front of me and wait where am i going with this shit now. ok wait in my bio i have 4 red eyes and do drugs for power holy shit i saw myself through myself in another body that wasnt mine, like how the fuck does that even happen. ok stats time. i have a number of super powerd stats and stratagems lying around here i can do that instead. for starters my ultimate form is super good even though its not human in the slightest, quite the opposite in fact. humans can do the super power stuff because they live to short and their bodys just dont cut it. but thats ok because i destroyed my human form using unholy shards of hate and destruction to creat orbs of hate and then i turned myself into some wierd ass fucking monster thingy that looks wierd and has a lot of abilitys. when i woke up that one day i was like wow i have a tail and it has 3 tails, then i was like wow i have 2 pairs of cute draggy drag ears and like 3 horns, but like 2 of them are on each side and one on my forhead. i was like wait a sec , am i some kind of unicorn dragon thingy? kinda i guess but i have 4 eyes. also they glow random colors depending on the situation. usually some kind of red/orange to scare people. i couldnt talk though my dragon jaw thing was wierd
as fuck so i have to telepathically talk in a voice that i made up just now to talk to people. i actually treid to talk and like some kind of miasma death just flowed out and fucking murderd the fuck out of everything wow holy shit. i made a note of that. i dont know how to describe the rest so im just going to play my video game in my head. ok BOOT UP. i boot myself up in my magical world of magicness by laying on my mattress, which is old and destroyed btw i need a new one, hey sign up to my patreon so i can buy a new mattress. ok so i lay down and then rock my head side to side until i can FEEL DA MAHJIX. and then i poof in my wierd dragon unicorn monster form thingy, then i go questing. sometimes i accendently overpower everything with too much power. like all i did was punch a goblin in the face because he wanted to eat an infant, so i did and he just fucking exploded like a meat balloon i was like wow noted. i have so much strenth in this form that i have to wield special weapons made out of star metal. what the fuck is star metal you may ask? how the fuck should i know,
but its the only thing durable enough to survive the abuse i put it through. like everything i hit a larg cone shaped explosion happens and it just instagibbs everything. my magic is so fucking powerful that if i power up just 1% it creates an aura so deadly in a 10 yeard radius that instagibbs everything, it has something to do with creating a magnetic field so fucking destructive that it warps the physical world around me. how it doesnt affect me is a mysetery. speaking of weapons i decided to do more drugs brb.


ok back. one of these days im going to list everything i crafted and its use it will take years though cuz i made a lot of shit. ok i think im done for now maybe.
Posted on: December 15, 2013, at 04:53:02pm   [0 comments]
yeh well dood like its been way too fucking long since last thought random yah!? well you can just die. oh well what to yap on about? i playededdededed this game callda skyrim. its a fucked up ass game where you kill people and shit and fucking rape dragons and take thier dick bones and use them for armor and weapons, its fucked up. also you loot the dead and dying and when you do they get naked and you fuck them. it also promotes fucking drug use cuz potions do all these effects like resist fire ice or buff up your stats. thats a drug in my opinion and you can make your own drugs and sell that shit LEGALLY. its a wierd game i put 8000 hours in it when i first got it and i still play it but i havent played it in a few months then i played it recently and im using a crack smoking warlock whos a hobo wearing a black robe and a white hood and he's a skooma addickt. i stab people with this fire blade thingy i found from some crazy bitch named meridia and i stole her shit in that tomb. anyway i found this camp of fucking furries and hate bonereded them with that sord thing and took all thier shit and raped thier deadness cuz my character wanted thier fucking skooma and moonsugar, which btw you can make your own skooma and i did that im super badass lvl 120 use magic of death and blade of power with lots of damamge. i had liek super health and power. ok i was way off track there, but anyway yah im role playing as a crazy fuck who escaped a phsyc ward but got caught and almost got executed by the imperials. so then i was like "fucking imperials put me in the psych ward and then tried to kill me those fuckers" so i joined the stormcloaks and fucking hate bonerded the imperials to death but then i found out im the dragin borne and then i hate bonarded the dragons and took thier shit. uhhh wow off track again. anway again again agian i also use magic cuz im fucked up on skooma and moonsugar and liek i got a house from that jarl dood from whiterun and then i fucking helped the stormcloaks take whiterun and then i thought "omg my house better not burn down cuz liek i have stuff in there". and that jarl dood was like "wow you an asshole i give you a house and you burn my city you fucker". and uhhh......i forget what the actual fuck i was going with this oh well time for more drugs.
Posted on: September 20, 2013, at 03:15:45pm   [0 comments]
ok so apparently i just havent fucked up enough for some reason or something i dont know what the fuck im talking about. ok so i tried to use magic and NOTHING HAPPENED?! what the actual fuck?! why cant i use magic like in that fucking game where that guy can suck out souls and shit. fuck that bastard of a goddamn cocksucking douche told me that i can cast magic, well that DIDNT WORK. so whatever. OK i have an idea so like im broke and shit, so then i decided that i should go get some moneys. so i practiced my psychic abilities and now i go to parties and shit and show that shit off like a god damn boss and ITS NOT MAGIC THIS SHIT IS REAL I SWEAR. ok so like i can see and read dead people and live people and shit and im really good at this if you have a party that needs to be livened up then dammit invite me over because im hungry and i like cake and booze. gimme some booze.

OK SO YOU MUTHERFUKERS WANT A GODDAMN PSYCHIC TO TALK TO YOUR DEAD ASS FUCKING RELATIVES!? WELL WHY DONT YOU FUCKING JOIN THEM YOU ASSHOLE!! yeah im still working in my marketing campaign or something.
Posted on: August 30, 2013, at 09:58:24pm   [0 comments]
So i walked down the road only to find the river of ultima. The mountain said to me "when you find it you will know". I didn't understand what that meant, for i was a young lass who was also a lad in the flesh of a strange body. However this did not phase me. I went to pale mountains of eternity and I walked really far and stuff. Then when i got to smithsuln the magic kingdom of blackness, i saw a guy and he says "beware young travelar, there be demons ahead. Then he died and coughed up blood like a nublet. So i cuntinewd down the road until i saw a burnt out village. all that was left was a sign that said "a village". I felt uncomfortable, probably because my clit is too big for my body. then i continewd on ward. AND THEN I SAW IT!!!!! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!! THE DEMON THING I SAW WAS HORRIBLE!!!!! IT WAS LIKE FUCKING 7 FEET TALL AND SHIT AND IT HAD FUCKING 3 HORNS AND FUCKING DRAGON WINGS AND FUCKING IT LOOKED LIKE SOME KIND OF FUCKING DRAGON FURRY MONSTER!!!!!! IT HAD RED GLOWY EYES AND I COULDNT SEE ITS MOUTH!!! ITS LIKE IT DIDNT HAVE ONE!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS!!!! it just stood there and shit then i was like, "hi" and then i fucking vanished. i now understood the mountain when it said that you would know it when you see it!!! I SAW IT!!! I SAW THE ONE!!! THE DARK ONE!!! THE BLACK MONSTER!!!!!!!!! ZDFIVHS;LDXK BNZDVX JHFBD KJHASLK HL GZBP Y AGBNLSD;INHANDGJFHZS;IDXJNMVC.VLSZUSRHJ,BCVMH[A
9OU;HKJZ.C`NXPHSB;HUI5JNR.,CVXM';DSILJ/RD;GMCNVBV



----That is all it says in the journal, we're not sure why there was a sudden spam at the end. Its possible that when this person saw it, he or she (we're not sure) probably went mad remembering the trauma the monster had done, which we aren't sure how it did that. There have been many sightings now and i think that we shouldn't ignore them any longer. 1200 years ago something with that exact description appeared smithsuln the magic kingdom and burnt 99% of it to the ground. the witnesses, very few of them lived and all were completely insane, said that it would appear and everything and everyone would erupt in a black flame and turn into crystallized glass then break apart and when it disappeared the pieces turned to ash. many said that the fires had no heat and the ash was cold. someone is knocking on my door again i wonder who it is...OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS RIGHT THERE WHAT DO I DO ASKDGH AS;FDHJB.NXC,HBVVOASLDFZ3NVBJ


----ok that guy that was reading the journal died by the black monster and why the fuck did i write this?! OH GOD ITS RIGHT THERE I CAN SEE IT IN MY COMPUTER SCREENA KGHLKXZHCB,M
Posted on: August 29, 2013, at 08:38:51pm   [1 comment]
HI FFR, CRACK SMOKING WARLOCK, HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, CUNTNUGGET. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON A PIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT CUNTNUGGETS.

SO CALL 1-800-CUNT-NUGGETS NOW AND TELL THEM CRACK SMOKING WARLOCK SENT YOU

THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-CUNT-NUGGETS
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO TWO EIGHT SIX EIGHT SIX EIGHT FOUR FOUR THREE EIGHT SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
CALL NAO!
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