FFR Forum Awards + A special happy birthday!

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on January 21st, 201420 Comments »

Hello everyone! Just wanted to give people two bits of information.

The 2013 FFR Forum Awards are currently in progress. For the second year in a row, it is being hosted by one of our two new forum administrators, Sky Kitten. If you haven’t gone to vote for people in a category — don’t fret, you still have until February 2nd to place votes. Give the thread a look when you have a chance.

Also, for those of you unaware — today marks a very special birthday; if it weren’t for this man, we would not have a community to come to, a game to play (and later build upon), and we probably wouldn’t know each other as we do now. Let’s all give a really warm-hearted Happy Birthday to the person who conceived this game idea and evolved it into a community. We might not be as strong as we were before, but after 11 years, we’re still around.

Happy Birthday, Synthlight! Have a great day with your family, and from one Chicagoan to another — stay out of the snow and cold!

- TC_Halogen

Songs of the Week [January 15th, 2014]

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on January 15th, 20148 Comments »

Three new songs this week — two regular releases, and a veteran release. The veteran song is purchased, and will cost you 3,500 credits.

[January 15th Released Songs]
Felix^3 by SessileNomad (MarioNintendo) — Difficulty: 71 / 1:36 / Misc / TBD
All i wanna do is touch your powerpoints by Loli Ripe (I like it) — Difficulty: 78 / 2:15 / Misc / TBD
Pollyanna Rocks My World by Furries in a Blender (YoshL) — Difficulty: 76 / 2:14 / Purchased [3,500] / TBD

Enjoy — feel free to post comments about them.

- TC_Halogen

You’ve been in a horrible accident! – Spontaneous Contest [CONCLUDED]

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on January 13th, 201413 Comments »

“Doctor! The patient is awake!”

A man dressed in a stark white lab coat (who suspiciously resembles Professor Oak) hastily strides across the ward, and stops next to your hospital bed.

“Hello, my name is Legit Doctor! I am sure you have a lot of questions, but please remain calm. Last night, you were involved in a tragic high-five accident. To cutoff the awesomeness of that very high-five from spreading to the rest of your body, I was forced to amputate all but one of your fingers.

Luckily, a local mom has discovered one weird trick to fully regenerate your hands, and save your FFR career! We will begin by injecting you with 19 CCs of corn juice (from concentrate), and activate its regenerative properties by blasting your hands with Gamma rays and unstable Halogen isotopes. Over the next 24 hours, you will be assigned to an accelerated one-fingered rehabilitation process while your fingers grow back. You will receive credits as compensation for your compliance. Good Luck!” *results will vary, skillboost to D7 not guaranteed

THREAD FOR EVENT: http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/vbz/showthread.php?p=4059326#post4059326

This event has concluded!

- PrawnSkunk and the FFR Events Staff

Songs of the Week (January 4th, 2014) + a few words

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on January 9th, 201415 Comments »

Let’s restart the year with good habits. I may not possess the same verbal exuberance as moches or MrPopadopalis25, but having some information is better than nothing.

First off, I would like to apologize to my official tournament winners for not getting their moment in the sun on the front page. You guys did a great job, and deserve to be commended for your efforts!


Congratulations for being one of an elite few to beat out everyone in an official tournament in your division, and good luck in the higher divisions to follow (except for D7, no one really cares enough about them to make another division after that).

Here are the songs of the week — this is just a notification post; play the files yourself to see what they’re like!

[January 4th Released Songs]
Paraclete by LeaF (ilikexd) — Difficulty: 74 / 2:15 / Dance 2 / Sacred Art
Purple Drank by Kola Kid (kommisar) — Difficulty: 81 / 2:09 / Arcade / 8-Bit Breakcore
Song of Storms Dubstep Rap Remix by Ephixa feat. NoneLikeJoshua (DarkZtar) — Difficulty: 34 / 1:51 / Dance / Dubstep Rap
thinking of you by goreshit (I like it) — Difficulty: 89 / 3:05 / Dance 2 / Dancecore

The veteran song, thinking of you, will be available for public play on the 11th. Non-veterans, sit tight!

Happy New Years

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on January 1st, 201431 Comments »


Happy New Years 2014.

9th Official Tournament: Final Round

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on December 13th, 201319 Comments »

Hungry fire consumed the halls around the Battledome, the corpses of slain warriors vanishing in a ball of crimson; those who had survived to the end hobbled, crawled, and limped into the center of the dome. There were seven towers, each with a series of steps spiraling around a circular core and a doomsday button at the top–and around each tower, three swords were buried into the ground. They would either have to kill each other on the ground or scamper to the top before anybody could reach them.

DIVISION 1 – I Can’t Wait – Celldweller

Ippikiryu, CarrotCake94 and Xonica eyed each other as they stepped towards the tower. With the gravity befitting a deed yet to be done, they rested their hands on each blade and thrust it out. The earth beneath them began to quiver.

“What’s going o–” CarrotCake94 didn’t get to finish. The sand beneath them cracked and disintegrated, revealing a gap ten feet wide on every side; they were only inches from a precarious fall. What was done here would be definitive.

“WELL, YOU’VE ALL MADE IT THIS FAR, AND I WOULD CONGRATULATE YOU,” tittered the mysterious loudspeaker voice, “BUT I THINK ONLY ONE OF YOU WILL GET TO HEAR IT. OH! HOW ABOUT SOME TUNES? THIS ONE’S FROM MY TWO-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER’S FAVORITE BAND. SHOULD GET THE BLOOD PUMPING…”

The song wasn’t the fastest they had seen in the tournament, but it was certainly no slouch at 188BPM–and the number of 16ths, jumps and jacks would make this one a toughie to get through. Xonica groaned as the guitar started and almost lost grip of his blade. Such wangst. So teenager.

Ippikiryu had spent his life getting through every situation with his mad kawaii power, but by this point all hint of anything fuzzy and adorable in his personality had been weathered away. He grabbed his blade and faced the two people standing between him and Touhou, osu, tanks, LoL, conventions, and singing.

DIVISION 2 – A Crimson Rose and a Gin Tonic (YMCK 8bit Mix) – YMCK

“I wish we didn’t have to do this,” linebro sighed as he approached the foot of the tower marked District Two. RARAWR almost made a sound but found himself too emotionally conflicted to express his feelings.

The floor was wet, unusually so. The moment all three players pulled out their swords, chiptune began to play.

“WELL, I SAW HOW YOU’VE BEEN DOING. THAT LITTLE STUNT AT THE BAR WAS MY TREAT, YOU KNOW. A LITTLE ALCOHOL NEVER HURTS, EH?” boomed the loudspeaker. “THIS ENTIRE FLOOR IS SOAKED IN GIN AND TONIC. YOU’RE ALREADY DRUNK AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT.”

“Oh, aweso–,” Toxophilis caught herself. “I mean, oh noooo.”

This song was weird–or maybe it was just the alcohol. Arrows that were supposed to be pink and purple were…green. And then brown. And they kept changing in the middle of the song for no reason. It was pleasant enough, but Clocktown had been pleasant too. They had to keep their guards up to the very end.

DIVISION 3 – Grad Erlija – Grand Thaw

“Toccy, what the hell?” Emanresu13 caught up to his former ally, panting.

“RAWR!” Mokisaurus was angry.

Toccy shrugged. “Hey, it’s every man for himself.”

“HE’S RIGHT, YOU KNOW.”

Great, just when things couldn’t get any worse…

“THAT’S BEEN SOMETHING OF A RECURRING THEME, HASN’T IT? ALL OF YOU WERE SO LOCKED INTO THINKING OF THIS AS A TEAM BATTLE THAT YOU NEVER SAW WHAT THE TOURNAMENT WAS REALLY ABOUT. ALL YOU CAN DO IS HOLD ONTO YOUR LIFE, FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY BE DAMNED.”

“NOW,” the loudspeaker demanded, “DANCE FOR ME, MY PUPPETS.”

Accordions and pianos kicked in, and drums began to swell in the background. Toccy already had his sword out, staring the other two down with his eyes (and fingers) as he dangled the blade. If this was the last day of their lives, at least the soundtrack was apt.

DIVISION 4 – Shitsubou Choco – LeaF

EVeryBOADY WAS STiLl tRIPENG BLLLZZZZ.

“HAHAHAHA, SSPEED IS DEAD!” LAUGHED DISSONANTMUSE!! HE STUMBLED TO TOWER AND PULL OUT SWORD.

“hey, stop that! now i have to speak in lowercases to distinguish myself!” complained the loudspeaker? “you guys! seriously! stop!”

“OH HO HO HO!” MUTTERED KEKEB, “LOOKIE HERE @ THIS HERE SWORD! DEVILCHILLY TAKE PICTURE OF ME, PLEAZ!”

“LOL NO!” DEVILCHILLY REPLIED AND SLASHED HIS FRIEND IN THE ARM. BLOOD SPURTED OUT.

“okay, guys…i’m really scared now. this is weird. i’m not even in danger here. why is this so horrifying? should i turn this song off? it’s even faster and more hyper than the last round’s song. wait, iTunes is frozen again. crap.”

“DOESN’T MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE KABOBS, GUYS?!” KEKEB GIGGLED. “DOESN’T IT SOUND LIKE KABOBS?!”

DIVISION 5 – Future Invasion, YMCK

Josemba was already halfway up the tower. omega_grunt666 and klimtkiller could only look on.

“WHAT’S THE MATTER, GUYS? OR SHOULD I SAY G8YS, YOU LITTLE GIRLS? WELL, I SHOULDN’T, REALLY, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC, MISOGYNISTIC AND REALLY GROSS. AND SHAME ON WHOMEVER IS WRITING THIS TOURNEY POST, EVEN IF HE’S USING ME TO MAKE A POINT.”

omega_grunt666 just peered up and dropped his sword. “It’s futile,” he sighed. “He’ll get to the top, press the button and the aliens in that spaceship hovering above us will come and take us away for good. I say let him have it. At least second place isn’t too bad.”

“Still,” klimtkiller interjected, “wouldn’t it be nice to at least end on one more kill?”

“Well, that’s more your thing, isn’t it?”

“Touche.”

“GUYS, THIS IS SO ANTICLIMACTIC! THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS,” insisted the voice on the loudspeaker. “REMEMBER HOW YOU DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD SURVIVE THAT SUBMATIK SUBMARINE ATTACK IN THE FIRST WEEK?”

“You set that up, didn’t you?” asked omega_grunt666.

“THAT’S NOT REALLY THE POINT. THE POINT IS THAT FOR WHATEVER REASON YOU TWO ARE THE LAST THING STANDING IN THAT GUY’S WAY, AND IT WOULD SUCK TO HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND NOT AIM A LITTLE HIGHER. SO GO PRACTICE.”

DIVISION 6 – Herbie Goes Ballistic – Venetian Snares

It was RagedBerserker’s turn to break down. NekoGon wasn’t moving: his pulse was down to 0. Meanwhile, SaFyre13 was brooding on the horizon; he hadn’t picked up a weapon yet. With everybody around him dead, his mind was slowly coming back. Where was dAnceguy117? Why didn’t he hear ___________’s voice (oh, wait, he was mute, wasn’t he?) Who had taken their lives?

Suddenly he remembered everything–and though a wave of horror rushed over him, he fought it and stood up. He stepped tentatively towards his two remaining friends. “We need to get out of here, Gon. Wake up.”

“GUYS! FOR PETE’S SAKE, YOU NINCOMPOOPS,” roared the loudspeaker. “DID YOU LITERALLY FORGET THE POINT OF THIS TOURNAMENT? I MEAN, THE PART WHERE YOU ALL KILL EACH OTHER? I’M SICK OF THIS. BRING IN HERBIE!”

Lindsay Lohan came in wielding the remains of a glass bong–it had been fashioned into yet another sword. She thumped it into the ground; the shock waves threw everybody back. NekoGon almost rolled off the edge of the platform, now a good fifty feet above the ground below, but SaFyre grabbed his hand in the nick of time.

He turned. “No, Herbie, don’t do it!”

The beats kicked in. It was too late.

DIVISION 7 – Heterochromia Iridis – FOLiACETATE

Anthony continued to find his desire for bloodlust frustrated with each passing district: L.B.D.D already stood at the top of the tower for District Seven, looking down at smartdude1212 and DossarLX_ODI. It was fine: he had no intentions of pushing the button anytime soon. All three members held swords against their necks; they would all pull a joint Katniss Everdeen if they had to.

The loudspeaker crackled before a new announcement was made:

“FROM NOW ON, THERE CAN BE TWO VICTORS CROWNED IF ONE OF THEM IS ALREADY IN THE GREEN. THIS IS BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE HYPERCOMPETENT NINNIES AND I’M SICK OF YOU GUYS UNDERMINING ME WITH YOUR MAD TALENT. ANTHONY OUT, HOMIES.”

Even with his IQ of 1212, smartdude1212 was confused. “Hey, Dossar, what’s green supposed to–”

“IF YOU DIDN’T SCREW UP AGAIN AND AGAIN FOR ONCE MAYBE YOU WOULD FIND OUT!” roared the loudspeaker. “NOW GO WIN BEFORE I MAKE IT RAIN FOLIACETATE ON ALL YOUR PATHETIC BUTTS!”

It was hard to refuse an offer like that. But smartdude and DossarLX_ODI couldn’t bring themselves to look one another in the eyes. Could both of them make it to the end, or was this curtains for one of them? Or both?

They eyed the staircase around the tower: it was steep, forcing them to step roughly 17 times a second, with jumps everywhere; it was rickety, having been built at 223 beats per minute with steps of every color wedged awkwardly in between. But it was only a two-minute climb up, and they had an entire week.

Steeling themselves, they took their next step.

moches

9th Official Tournament: Round 7!

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on December 6th, 201318 Comments »

Every light in the Battledome went out – except for a circle of torches in a coliseum that had, until now, been shrouded under the earth. Now it was the only thing visible to those who had survived to this point; not knowing what awaited them, they converged towards the center towards their unavoidable fates.

DIVISION 1 – Sleep Tight, Adraen

The five people left of District One hadn’t taken a single step in when drum ‘n bass began to play and the floor beneath them pitched uneasily. Ippikiryu and Xonica let out gasps; CarrotCake94 winced.

“HELLO, FRIENDS,” boomed a distorted voice from the speakers. “DO YOU LIKE COLORS? MY FAVORITE COLORS ARE PINK, GREEN, BROWN, WHITE, AND PUUUUURPLE. THIS IS A POOR METAPHOR WHERE EACH COLOR REPRESENTS ONE OF YOU FIVE. I CAN ONLY LET TWO OF YOU PASS. NOW GO DEAL WITH 16TH NOTES AT 200 BPM AND SEE WHO AMONGST YOU GETS MAIMED THE LEAST, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS HAVE HAD IT TOO EASY.”

“Well, at least the music fits,” observed death111, who at this point was sick of piano songs. Master Aqua giggled before he remembered there was a 60% chance he was going to die soon.

DIVISION 2 – Bits and Bytes (Original Mix), Rameses B

“How’s the hangover, Toxophilis?” mr_candy sniped.

“How are your insulin levels, mr_candy?” Toxophilis snapped.

“Guys, don’t be mean!” linebro intervened. “I mean, other than the fact that only one of us gets to go home…we’ll get to go home pretty soon.”

“Hell, no!” shot back nolimits112. “Go at it! No limits, nothing off-ground, go!”

“RARAWR…” sighed RARAWR in exasperation.

To be fair, none of them were in the best of spirits–the memories of the recent slaughter they had barely made it through in Clocktown haunted them like something haunted, like a ghost. Or a zombie. Whatever. Point is, with the end in sight the group’s collective hold on sanity was unraveling.

Also, there was no candy, which wasn’t making things any better for mr_candy.

The ragtag gang of five approached the monolithic building ahead of them.

“This is it?” madsen_12001 wondered. “It’s just an abandoned coliseum. What’s here for us?”

“OH HO HO, WE HAVE A TOUGH GUY, DON’T WE?” a voice cut in.

Everybody took three steps back.

“TELL ME, TOUGH GUY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GET HOME?”

“Play Minecraft? Get my prison number removed from my legal name?”

“WELL…ACTUALLY, THAT’S PRETTY CHILL. I CAN’T REALLY JOKE ABOUT THAT. I DON’T EVEN HAVE A NAME, BUT I FEEL YOU, BRO. STILL! WHEN I’M THROUGH WITH YOU GUYS, THREE OF YOU WILL BE CHOPPED UP INTO TINY LITTLE BYTES! GET IT, BYTES? BECAUSE ALL OF YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH A VIDEO GAME AND…NEVER MIND. BRING THE DUBSTEP!”

DIVISION 3 – Boot – Paraoka

Chromatique (whose eyeballs were now firmly back-in-place) looked upwards. She couldn’t see where the building ended and the sky began. “What happens if we just don’t go in? Just drop our stuff and wait this out?”

loop123456 was walking in circles. His brow furrowed. “A loophole. The possibility is intriguing.”

Emanresu13 shook his head. “Guys, remember when we tried to stay on that beach? Mario’s army killed that noise–we went right back to the mermaids. Even when we thought we were being rescued by those awful rappers last week, three of us bled to death out of our ears before we got here!”

“UNINTENTIONAL BUT FORTUNATE,” agreed the loudspeaker.

“Rawr?!” Mokisaurus growled. “Wait, wrong language, I mean–huh?!”

“I DON’T WANT TO KILL ANY MORE OF YOU THAN I HAVE TO–IT’S ALL PART OF THE GAME,” the voice continued. “DEAL WITH IT. NOW HERE ARE SOME JAPANESE GIRLS SINGING AT A TEMPO NORTH OF 200 BEATS PER MINUTE. IF YOU CAN OUTRUN THEIR VOICES, YOU MIGHT HAVE A SHOT AT MAKING IT TO THE END.”

The voice cut off, leaving a quite stream of static. Then the static stopped.

loop123456 turned to his friends. “Look, I know we’re not all going to get home, but I just want to say that no matter who dies, it was an honor to serve with you all. Chromatique, Mokisaurus, Emanresu13, Tocc–”

He stopped. Looked back. “Toccy?”

Toccy was already twenty feet down the chamber. “See ya at the finish line, losers!”

DIVISION 4 – Breakcore Ein Prosit, Yamajet

“Well, there’s no running water here, it looks like,” observed Kekeb as he entered the dimly lit chamber, the other four members of District Four close behind. “Sorry, DissonantMuse.”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Five heads turned towards the conveniently-placed loudspeaker.

“OH, MY BAD, I THOUGHT SOMEBODY WOULD SAY THAT,” continued the mysterious voice. “WHICH ONE OF YOU’S DISSONANTMUSE?”

“It’s h-him, b-but w-why?” asked Sspeed, pointing to his left.

“NO REASON. I’M BAD WITH NAMES. ANYWAY, HERE’S SOME CRACK AND LSD! YOU’LL NEED THEM TO GET THROUGH THIS ROUND! NOW ENJOY THIS SONG, WHICH WAS MADE ON THE EXACT SAME SUBSTANCES YOU ARE ABOUT TO IMBIBE RIGHT NOW!”

Everybody in the room was doused with a cloud of white, yellow, and brown powders. Devilchilly coughed, Jararered’s face went red…and tehn evudfyboddy starlated tripppppppning BALLz.

DIVISION 5 – Umbral Ultimatum, “Toby Radiation” Fox

Despite all that he had been through, Mollocephalus felt lucky as he and his teammates approached their final battleground. Like that time he had locked himself in his bathroom without any spare toilet paper, he had lasted so much longer than he had expected. This was do or die.

“Well, we’re down to five people. I can’t believe it took me this long to get a chance to talk!” marveled klimtkiller. omega_grunt666 grunted devilishly, as if offering commentary.

“OH, SPEAKING OF COMMENTARY, DO YOU WANT COMMENTARY?”

Crap, it’s like this voice can read minds!

Well, he can, technically. After all, this is merely a fictional plight written by some kid on the Internet in which this booming voice is a narrative device, where it serves both the purpose of Big Bad in the story and commentator relating to the actual tournament.

Still, it didn’t make the sudden intrusion any less scary for the survivors of District Five; Salitz almost salitzed his pants, while Josemba swore in about five different Spanish dialects.

“NEVER MIND. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE GOT THAT COVERED. TAKE MOLLOCEPHALUS, RIGHT?”

Mollocephalus looked up. “I don’t know what you want from me, but I’ll find out or die trying.”

“THEN HERE’S YOUR ULTIMATUM!” the voice roared back. “UMBRAL…UMBRAL ULTIMATUM. UMBRAL? WHAT DOES THAT WORD EVEN MEAN? IT’S LIKE RIHANNA STARTED SINGING THEN GOT BORED HALFWAY THROUGH THE CHORUS. THE SONG ISN’T BORING, THOUGH. IT’LL BUST ALL OF YOUR BALLS. FOR REALS. LIKE IT WAS MADE BY FOXES, RADIATION AND A GUY NAMED TOBY. A GUY NAMED TOBY, SERIOUSLY. ARE YOU SCARED YET? SEND IN THE ORIENTAL STRING INSTRUMENTS!”

DIVISION 6 – Japan Style Breakcore!!!, Reizoko Cj

The irony of Xx{Fallen}xX’s name was not lost on Xx{Fallen}xX. He eyed the others. “So we’re all in agreement that all bets are off at this point, right? I mean, you guys just stood there and watched as three of our teammates got crushed to death.”

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” screamed RagedBerserker before he realized that he, in fact, was not in the CSI: New York theme song. “Wait, sorry. But yeah. What can you do at this point, really?”

SaFyre13 and NekoGon side-eyed each other. NekoGon fingered the Swiss army knife in his pocket.

“Uh, guys, does this speaker work?” V-Ormix asked, pointing to the–

The thing.

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” screamed the voice. “I RUN THIS DEAL, I GET TO BE A LITTLE DRAMATIC. LET’S LOOK AT YOUR NAMES…OH, SO JAPANESE! DOES THAT MAKE ME RACIST? YES! I DON’T CARE! THIS IS JUST A WAY TO TIE THIS TO THIS CHALLENGE, WHICH IS DESIGNED TO, HM, LET’S SAY BREAK YOU! EHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!”

None of the five were as amused.

“So it’s a breakcore song? And it’s Japanese?” asked RagedBerserker. “Such berserk! Much outrage!”

“NICE DOGE, THAT’S THE SPIRIT! NOW FORGET ABOUT ME,” the voice continued, “AND FOCUS ON GETTING PAST YOUR NEMESIS–REIZOKO CJ!”

Horrible screeching filled the cavernous halls. Everybody steeled themselves, preparing for whatever was making the sound.

DIVISION 7 – All your base are belong to ME, Reizoko Cj

DossarLX ODI reached into his pocket only to find out he was out of tissues. Of all of the things L.B.D.D. had done over the past seven weeks, this was probably the most insane. “We can’t drag his body all the way to the stadium! Let him go!”

L.B.D.D.’s hands were blistered, bloody and sore, but still they gripped tightly onto Dynam0′s corpse. “No! I’m not leaving him behind! He’s not leaving me behind! Nobody’s leaving anybody behind! Behinds!”

smartdude1212 acted like he was playing with his smartphone to avoid all of the drama. It had died on him months ago. “What’s the time?”

shadow 1800 checked his watch. “6PM.”

“It was 6PM the last time I asked!”

“Well, what did you expect asking me?”

Before smartdude1212 could craft an eloquent response to this, GammaBlaster cut everybody off: “Well, I guess we’re just going to walk in now. You bringing that dead body, dude?”

Swallowing tears, L.B.D.D. nodded.

“Do you hear people screaming?” wondered DossarLX ODI as he stepped into a pitch-black corridor. “That sounds like NekoGon to me. Did District Six get here before us?”

“OOOH, YOU BROUGHT ME A SACRIFICE!”

Everybody flinched. The blanket L.B.D.D. had laid over Dynam0′s face had slipped. The voice giggled. “NICE TOUCH. SO YOU’VE COME ALL THE WAY HERE TO DEFEAT ME? YOU THINK YOU’RE SO AWESOME?”

yo man im awesome shrugged.

“WELL, I’M SURE YOU’LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS IN DISTRICT SIX ARE ALL BEING SLAUGHTERED AS WE SPEAK. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!”

“Guys, we need a light.” GammaBlaster was trembling.

yo man im awesome rummaged through his knapsack. Good thing he had brought spares. He found his flashlight and flipped the switch.

The walls were soaked in blood.

“THIS IS WHAT IT COMES TO, ISN’T IT? YOU KEEP TELLING EACH OTHER YOU’RE ON THE SAME SIDE, BUT THAT’S WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO: BLOOD. WHO GIVES IT, WHO DRAWS IT. THE LEGACIES OF TRIBUTES BEFORE YOU, ALL COVERED IN RED.”

“NOW,” TC_Halogen–I’m sorry, Anthony — continued, “GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR BASE.”

Breakcore rattled the halls, growing louder and louder.

9th Official Tournament: Round 6

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on November 29th, 201314 Comments »

DIVISION 1 – Pokemon battle imaging – No.3, Y.W

CarrotCake94 was a patient person, but LotarrMotarr and DefconZero’s bickering was pushing even her to her limits.

“For the last time, I did not piss myself crossing that infernal bridge!” roared DefconZero.

“Well, if that’s the case you sure sweat a lot around your private parts,” laughed LotarrMotarr.

CarrotCake94 turned around. “Guys, think about your common ground! You’re on the same team. We all capitalize our names strangely. Can’t we get along just for a few more—?”

“Uh, guys?” Master Aqua chimed in. “I think we just stumbled on something really big.”

LotarrMotarr caught his breath. “What is it, Master Aqua?”

“It’s the Champions’ Stadium,” said Darkbird, speaking up for the first time in days. He hadn’t taken the casualties from last week’s expedition very well. “Something is wrong. The organizers wouldn’t have led us here unless…”

Memories of his old life came flooding back. Before his parents had sent him to military school, he had spent his nights plugging away as his Gameboy (only 90s kids would understand this reference). At the young age of seven, he had collected 149 Pokemon and trekked all the way to the end of the game, but the moment he butted heads with the first boss Pikachu had died on him, the cute bastard. Sadly, that was the end: in a fit of Kool-Aid-induced rage he threw the Gameboy across the room and it never worked again.

If history was any indication, there was a good chance this stadium was the end of this journey. Only this time it wasn’t Pikachu that was in danger.

DIVISION 2 – Railgun, Blue Stahli

The first thing SureWanda heard when he woke from his drug-induced stupor was a cry of bewilderment – pain.

“RARAWR?!?!”

The second thing he heard was a short, harsh burst. Something punched into his stomach and he screamed. A familiar face entered his view. It was the bartender from the Irish pub, sneering as he brandished a miniature railgun (if such a thing could exist – let’s assume for the sake of storytelling that it can). Then he realized his mistake: there was no reason for the Tournament organizers to grant anybody a reprieve. District Two’s forces had fallen into a perfectly microbrewed trap.

“Well, the good news is that these are non-lethal wounds,” the bartender chortled, chewing on every word like a villain in a badly-written FPP. “The bad news is that three of you still have to die.”

DIVISION 3 –Sonic The Hedgehog Dubstep, Boyinaband + NoneLikeJoshua

Emanresu13 didn’t think the situation could get any worse – he had already been through multiple neko attacks, drops, and the worst level of Super Mario Bros. ever. And yet here he was in a boat with Boyinaband and NoneLikeJoshua, who were proving him wrong with their dubstep rap. Was this what the young ones were listening to on their smartphones nowadays?

Chromatique rolled her eyes so hard that they fell out of her sockets. “How many times do we need to listen to this song again?” she muttered as she ran her hands over the wooden floor, attempting to find her dislocated eyeballs.

The answer was as obvious as it was bleak: as many times as it took to get out of this godfangled Tournament in one piece.

DIVISION 4 – Valhalla, Xi

“I wish Sgt. Traveler were still alive,” moaned DissonantMuse. “He wouldn’t have gotten lost in the forest for seven days.”

xAlphaWolf sighed. Men weren’t men anymore.

“Well, at least I can see lights now,” DissonantMuse continued, before pausing…in the echoes of his mind boss music began to play. Oddly jazzy boss music, but boss music nonetheless. They were getting close to the end, he realized. Wherever that was, hopefully there would be hot water and WiFi.

DIVISION 5 – Sokuseki! Nouchoku Music System, MOSAIC.WAV

“Headcount!” Salitz declared. “Can y’all raise your hands?”

Fourteen bruised, chipped and otherwise mutilated hands met his request.

“Well, well,” chimed in one voice, “that’s more than I expected.”

A laugh was halfway out of Salitz’s mouth before the realization struck him. Thirteen heads turned towards YoshL, who grinned darkly as he stroked the beard he had bought from…

“Did you get that from Wal-Mart, dude?” NeoMaxx69 asked. He prided himself on his love of pizza and his willingness to ask the hard questions.

“I wasn’t going to, but it was Black Friday and I wasn’t letting my last dollar go to waste,” giggled YoshL. At least he tried to giggle: the sound was more malevolent than benevolent. Salitz frowned as he tried to pinpoint why.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to.

rCaliberGX raised a quivering finger in accusation. “You set us up.”

“Took ya numbnuts long enough to figure out,” shot back YoshL, as if he were ordering a medium personal pan from Pizza Hut and not stabbing his ostensible lifelong friends in their dirt-stained butts. “Congratulations, I guess? It won’t matter, anyhow – not unless any of you live to tell the tale.”

He snapped his fingers and a porthole into the FFR Event Staff Skype room opened. The others heard him speak one last time: “See you at the finals, suckers!”

DIVISION 6 – Rave5, DEV/NULL

dAnceguy117, ____________ and gameboy42690 could no longer see anything in the cloud of dust around them. “What do we do?” shouted gameboy42690, coughing as the airy musk infiltrated his throat. At this ___________ was wordless.

“Hold my hand and don’t let go!” dAnceguy117 raised his voice to be heard over the avalanche. “Left, right! Left, right!” He wasn’t called that for nothing, but even his years spent in nightclubs and community center dance-a-thons were faltering in the face of 2,642 pounds of rubble hurling downhill.

He knew that this was unstable terrain, but something didn’t quite feel right. He had waved to SaFyre13 only moments before, and everything had been calm then. His vision began to black out; for a brief moment he saw yellow but swallowed just hard enough for the color to fade away.

DIVISION 7 – Epidermis, Venetian Snares

L.B.D.D.’s skin peeled under the sweltering sun as he desperately pushed into shadow_1800’s bleeding chest. His first aid training was slipping away from his fingers with each heave, more and more red pooling beneath his fingers.

Dynam0’s hand settled on his shoulder. “We need to go.” His voice was sandpaper, only a few strings from being completely tattered.

“Why?” Against L.B.D.D.’s own will he blasted the word like a gunshot – harsh, fiery. “So we can die like everybody else?”

“I know how the game works. All of us knew what we were getting into.”

“But we were fighting against somebody else,” L.B.D.D. countered. “And now we’re fighting…against ourselves. While the world watches as we fall one by one.”

He turned to his comrade. “You go. I’m done, but I’m not taking you down with me.”

Laughter had exited Dynam0’s vocal range, but a smile wasn’t beyond his reach. “Good. Neither am I.”

9th Official Tournament: Round 5

Posted in Flash Flash Revolution on November 21st, 201318 Comments »

DIVISION 1 – Dreadnought [Standard], paraoka feat. haru*nya

Xonica had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“S—Skeelie?!”

“Xonica!” Skeelie gasped, as the rest of what remained of District Four hobbled, crawled, and struggled up to him. “Whatever you do, don’t cross that bridge!”

Behind them, robotic cheerleader cackling filled the damp air. The thunderstorm had stopped only a few minutes earlier, and the mixture of moisture, laughter and blood made for a particularly nauseating Friday morning.

“You guys are lucky you caught us here,” continued the winded warrior, exhaling in short, harsh bursts. “If we weren’t all maimed, you’d all be dead by our hands by now!” And just as quickly as he had come, he was gone, running as fast as his sprained ankles could take him.

Yeah, as if you’d kill your best friend.

Even so, Xonica felt uneasy. He and Skeelie went together like rice and beans, but this was the Tournament. He wasn’t here to make friends, he was here to win. Could he trust his friend even as his competitor?

“Cow poop,” Darkbird said, flapping his feathers. “I’m going to see for myself!”

“No, wait!” Xonica replied, following him—unbeknownst to him, to their doom.

DIVISION 2 – Sunshine Rainy [Heavy], taqumi

“Thank you for having us!” portalbob340 gushed to the owner of the tavern they had just spent several days in. Smiling, he waved back.

CDCan!” madsen_12001 growled. “Turn that racket off! There are villagers here!”

CDCan stuck his tongue out before opening his mouth and ejecting Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz.

While the weather had not been kind the past week, it looked like for the time being the rain was over. The sun was visible for the first time in days, and the remaining members of District Two basked in the warmth of a perfect seventy-degree afternoon.

Just then, it began to rain again.

“Guys? Why is it raining? What are these drops? They’re pink! I like pink! Once I found a piece of gum on my shoe! I licked it! It didn’t taste like gum to me! Aaaaaaaaahh!”

“mr_candy, did you forget your insulin shot again?” Sylrifaide asked nervously, approaching.

Before he could answer, mr_candy passed out.

Slowly, each member looked up at the sky, where raindrops were falling from the still-sunny sky. Wait—not raindrops. One fell on nolimits112’s tongue and he immediately recognized the taste from his days in med school. These were sedatives. Before he could share this insight with his teammates, he, too, lost consciousness.

DIVISION 3 – ORIENTAL SEA!!, Shigusa ma

The irony of running back into the ocean that had just taken over half of their soldiers was not lost on District Three’s survivors, but with Goombas, Koopa Koops and Bowser’s minions on them they didn’t have much of a choice. xSonicBulletx gasped for air as the attackers dumped him back into the waves.

At first, the colors reassured him: they were the typical reds, yellows, and blues you’d see in any saltwater ecosystem. But then other colors began filling his field of vision, and before he realized the mermaids were back, a series of 24th notes impeccably delivered across his face did the job.

DIVISION 4 – Eclipse (Luna), Glome

“You s-sure you wanted to h-help out thos-se guys, S-skeelie?” asked Sspeed9, voice fading on each word. “I…f-feel like it wa-was a little d-d-dangerous.”

“Tournament or not, I wouldn’t wish those cheerleaders on my worst enemy,” Skeelie replied.

“Hey, guys, when did it get so dark?” Jararered chimed in. “The moon’s covering everything.”

It was, and the sight was oddly beautiful—here they were, in the middle of an endless slaughter, yet the moon was right where it had always been. That brief moment of clarity was quickly subsumed by more practical concerns, however: they had to find a light source before whatever lurking in the shadows found them.

DIVISION 5 – Shatterscape (Bexarametric Remix), Bexarametric

Bexarametric had three bullet holes and various knife wounds in his armor at this point, but as with any product from Dossar Manufacturing, he was a machine incapable of feeling pain. Revving up, he hurled orange shards of glass at Rapta and linky123456, who were both only saved by the riot gear they had found early on in the Tournament.

“When is he going to stop?!” shrieked Rapta.

“I don’t know, but at least we know how he—“

A teal shard skimmed linky123456’s arm, drawing blood.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!”

At this point, nobody could even fight back. All they could do was shield themselves from each onslaught of debris and hope they would survive just a bit longer.

DIVISION 6 – to luv for me i xxx for u (Reprise), t+pazolite

“They’re coming up,” NekoGon said.

Soaked from head to toe, Tim Allen climbed out of the water. “God, it’s freezing!” he shouted. “Anybody there?”

“We’re up here!” SaFyre13 replied, smiling devilishly. NekoGon didn’t like it.

“Alright, I’m coming up! Thank God you guys are alright,” he panted, climbing. “What’s with this gravel, though? It feels a little loose—“

Above, SaFyre13 grinned as he pitched his foot into the ground. With just the right amount of force in the right place, it wouldn’t be too hard to get some sand rolling, maybe even an avalanche—

NekoGon finally realized what was about to happen.

“No, stop—“

But when he looked at the eyes of the man who had only two days ago been fine, the pupils were completely gone. The only thing that remained was a throbbing red that seemed to fill his very soul with fire.

SaFyre13 grunted in a foreign tone and kicked his left foot into the gravel. Rumbling began, then grew louder.

DIVISION 7 – Extratone Pirates, Annoying Ringtone

What had just earlier felt like a fart from Satan’s butthole scorching shadow_1800’s back had now subsided to a mild heat; even so, he refused to put his head back up. Wreckage from the airship’s explosion was still falling around him, and if he got up too quickly there was a good chance he’d die before taking a single step.

The unfamiliar voices around him, on the other hand, suggested otherwise.

“Ahoy! Wayl wayl wayl, what doo we haaave heeeeere?” whinnied one high-pitched voice. “Lee-ooks like treaaaaasure for the taaaaaking!”

And then, sickeningly, one voice that was much more familiar: “Good booty, eh?”

At this shadow_1800 balked. Was…wasn’t that TC_Halogen’s voice?

Just then, something in his pocket began to vibrate. The dulcet tones of one Lady Lykez filled the air: “I love my butt, I love my butt, I love my butt…”

Even with his head down he felt the weight of twenty pairs of eyes on him. The embarrassment was too much. Reaching one hand into his pocket, he put his cellphone on vibrate and raised his head. “A—AJ?”

“To you, maybe,” sneered TC_Halogen, and the fleet of pirates around him sneered right along with him. “Call me Anthony from now on, will ya? It’ll save us a whole lot of confusion.”

“I…” This wasn’t his friend, the guy he had known since he was five. The guy he had trained in. His partner-in-battle, his shoulder to lean on, his dudebro.

“You…” TC_Halogen—Anthony mimicked before laughing. “What, you still haven’t figured it out? Why do you think I was always the one who volunteered to pick berries at night? How do you think I always knew exactly where to go, exactly what to do? Do you actually think I love my butt? I’m no pawn, sweetie. I run the motherflipping game.”

Shadow_1800 felt like a knife had just been stabbed into his already-bruised, mishandled heart. Then he felt blood running down his chest and realized his crappy metaphor had become reality.